Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets
eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, and sometimes we don't know what they're talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr -Douglas Charles

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Thanks for watching wwhl tonight guys! I promise next time ill have a few more drinks and be a little less nervous!
— Brooklyn Decker (@BrooklynDecker) March 11, 2013

Brooklyn Decker and a few more drinks? I'm down.

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Twitter was invented after the car and the toilet. Thank goodness!
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) March 11, 2013

Amen to that, brother.

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Endless summer... #livinandlovinlife instagr.am/p/WqASqawaBz/
— Ashley Tisdale (@ashleytisdale) March 10, 2013

You REALLY need to see this photo.

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I'm half naked in Esquire Netherlands this month. Happy Monday. say.ly/FQt5loi
— Melissa Stetten(@MelissaStetten) March 11, 2013

The same applies here.

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Papal conclave has begun! So exciting, like the Oscars all over again- we all want to know:Who will win, and who's dress will he be wearing?
— Bill Maher (@billmaher) March 12, 2013

I'll bet it was Vera Wang.

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Because BOOBS! :-) “@wdcgator: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?”
— Gregory Shane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) March 12, 2013

Nailed it.

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St. Patrick’s Day is the Golden Globes of alcohol consumption.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 12, 2013

Just the Golden Globes?

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Not a big fan of the whole "pilot comedy routine before takeoff". Let's land safely and then maybe have a good laugh, yes?
— Tom Crabtree (@TCrabtree83) March 12, 2013

Shouldn't this be common knowledge to pilots by now?

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Hey Conclave, you fucked up last time. If you don't pick Wesley Snipes this time we'll know you're not truly sorry.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 12, 2013

Guess they're not sorry.

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I bet Tim Tebow is secretly hoping he gets that new Pope gig.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) March 12, 2013

I think she'd win that bet.

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Apollo, new owner of Hostess snack brands, confirms it will continue to make Twinkies, Ding Dongs and HoHos. No word on Sno Balls.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) March 12, 2013

Halle-freaking-lujah!

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AMENDED: Never remove your wig while performing, unless you're wearing another wig underneath @rupaulsdragrace
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) March 12, 2013

Words to live by.

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Keep in mind: for every pope joke you make, Jesus pushes a kid in a wheelchair out of a helicopter.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 12, 2013

This is, in fact, true.

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So happy #blacksmoke is trending; he was so good on "Lost".
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) March 12, 2013

He's making a comeback.

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I think in my live chat tonight, I'm gonna put headphones on my boobs ;) #earmuffs
— Wendy Fiore (@wendyfiore) March 12, 2013

I'll just leave this here.

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Why do we idolize celebrities? If you guys knew how lame most of them were you'd be amazed. Myself included. So lame.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) March 12, 2013

Adam Levine, you are my new idol.

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I have white smoke coming out of my pants.Does that mean new pope is down there?#probnothim #weenerjoke #funny #topical
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) March 13, 2013

Maybe. What's he doing in there?

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The federal definition of a broke ass cripple. dld.bz/cqacE
— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) March 13, 2013

Roger Ebert: dropping knowldge.

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Missed a real marketing opportunity by not choosing the name Pope Samsung.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) March 13, 2013

Jerry Jones is so disappointed in him.

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Holy smokes these updates are interrupting my television programming. #jesuschrist
— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) March 13, 2013

Stone Cold ain't worried about no goddamn blasphemy.

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My twitter is blowing up with people talking about poop.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) March 13, 2013

No, Wil, that's Pope. Easy mistake.

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#TheNewPope has a new Harlem Shake video dropping tomorrow. Dont miss it!
— Columbus Short (@ColumbusShort1) March 13, 2013

You think he's joking?

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Is this a good pickup line? “Girl, I’m gonna do to your pussy what Walmart did to small businesses in this once thriving community.”
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 13, 2013

Yes. Yes it is.

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i wanna be friends with olivia wilde. but not just normal friends, super friends who brush each other's hair
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 14, 2013

Someone make this happen.

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Scientists have built an Internet for robots. My advice: knock before entering your robot’s bedroom.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 14, 2013

Yes, that could be ugly if you don't.

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I'm insuring my boobs! I'm freezing my eggs! Nope I'm shooting the new season of The Client List! Now that isn't made up ;)
— Jennifer Love Hewitt (@TheReal_Jlh) March 14, 2013

You mean her boobs aren't really worth $5 million?

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How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

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Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets