Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets
eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, and sometimes we don't know what they're talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr -Douglas Charles

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
I thought I saw someone dressed for Halloween as the ruined Jesus fresco, but it was just Bruce Jenner.
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) October 27, 2012

Easy mistake.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
My Halloween costumes are so amazeballs. This much awesomeness really shouldn't be allowed.
— SOPHIE TURNER(@sophieturner1) October 27, 2012

Girl ain't lying (see here).

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
97% of climate scientists say a big storm's hittin the east coast. DONT BELIEVE THEM!!!!
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 27, 2012

Don't ever believe the 3%.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Second time today Romo's clinched a game for the Giants.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) October 29, 2012

He's good like that.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Republicans saying we may have to wait till Thurs to find out exactly how and where Obama's response to Hurricane Sandy was incompetent
— Bill Maher (@billmaher) October 28, 2012

Did it take that long?

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
.@michelleobama If you have a friend named Romy I have a pretty cool costume idea for you.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) October 28, 2012

Especially if they went to high school together.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i'm calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) October 29, 2012

LiLo: Always the voice of reason.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
fuck the Hurricane Sandy ,she a dumb bitch
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) October 29, 2012

You tell 'em, Sheik.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
On the west coast we never get to bond over weather panic. We're like oh no an earthquake for 2 seconds, then go to spin class or whatever
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 29, 2012

Well, spin class is important.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Hurricane update: just read about Kate Upton's sexy new look.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) October 29, 2012

A man has to have his priorities.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Day one of #Sandy.Five kids, two bedroom.No school.Feel like I’m living the first act of “The Shinning.”
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 29, 2012

Here's Jimmy!!!

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
I know I'm opening myself to some sort of criticism, but I feel the need to publicly thank friendly lesbians for their friendliness
— Andy Richter (@Andy_Richter) October 29, 2012

Way to put yourself out there, Andy.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
"Would u guys save Ellen on DVR 4 me? Just storm coverage here...and it's an hour with Madonna" -my friend Kevin who is in NYC. #Priorities
— Jesse Tyler Ferguson (@jessetyler) October 30, 2012

Again, priorities.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
This might be a good time for Obama to speak on climate change.
— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) October 30, 2012

Perhaps.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are. You must die to be reborn.
— Aubrey O'Day (@AubreyODay) October 30, 2012

Translation? Anyone?

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Just heard in park: "are u sure that's poop and not Mac and cheese? There'sa fine line." Also...I'm the one that said it.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) October 30, 2012

Umm, I don't think the line is that fine.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Auditioning for a movie today. They are looking for a "Michael Fassbender's penis type."
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) October 30, 2012

Guess that rules most of us out.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Halloween Thoughts.... I'm really not that afraid of mummys... They don't even have a mouth. I'd totally poke that focker in the eye ball!
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) October 30, 2012

That and they don't actually exist.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Tweeters have a short attention span. #sandy not trending anymore. Instead #ThingsSaidAfterSex and #TacoBell
— Jeff Rossen (@jeffrossen) October 30, 2012

I don't think it's just limited to Tweeters.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Anyone in NYC named 'Sandy' going to be getting dirty looks for a while.#callmeSanford
— Jerry Seinfeld (@JerrySeinfeld) October 30, 2012

Who names these storms anyway?

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
I'll reveal my hairstyle secret. Wash the night before. Sleep.Randomly placed hot rollers in morning. Drive with windows down. Never brush.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) October 30, 2012

Solid haircare tip.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Disney is making new star wars movie. Im glad cuz i keep seeing jarjar binks at auditions and he said hes 8 payments behind on his Corvette
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) October 31, 2012

Dude never could save his money.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
"Put a razor blade in a Snickers.I'll eat around it." -- every kid who ever got a box of raisins while trick or treating
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 31, 2012

TRUTH.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Halloween is postponed for us..but Happy Halloween to everyone!
— NiC0LE P0LiZZi (@snooki) October 31, 2012

Who knew you could postpone holidays?

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Can people running in the NYC marathon bring some things of mine across the bridge? I don't think I'll be able to get a cab.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) November 1, 2012

They are going that way after all.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Hey everyone with the fake/parody accounts, keep up the good work you talentless attention starved hacks.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) November 1, 2012

But Brandon, how do you really feel?

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
I will never take electricity for granted ever, ever again
— Hilary Rhoda (@HilaryHRhoda) November 1, 2012

Amen to that.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Just delivered my first "Happy Holidays" of 2012. THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS IS *ON*, BITCHES.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) November 1, 2012

Bring it.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Word to the wise-When attending to demands after watching a movie on Cinemax, Remember to either close shades or turn off The tv.#NSFW
— Brad Keselowski (@keselowski) November 2, 2012

Sage advice.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Dear little miss Muffet,what the fuck is a tuffet?
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) November 2, 2012

That's actually a good question.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
If Groupon is to be believed, there are smoothly waxed and facialed people doing Bikram yoga in every single building in Los Angeles.
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) November 2, 2012

I can believe that.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
You know what would speak volumes? An Encyclopedia Britannica audio book.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 2, 2012

If only Twitter came with a rimshot sound.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Where are we in this world? Are we getting extinct?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 2, 2012

Only some of us, Jose.

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

7 of the most subtly depressing sitcom premises of all time

9 types of drivers that piss everyone off

GIFterpiece Theatre: Reverse eating GIFs