Someone PLEASE explain this to me

Douglas Charles Managing Editor

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Bradley Cooper… he’s good-looking, right? Women really like him. I mean, I’m not gay and I almost want to sleep with the guy. And yet here he is… dating “Squinty Sourface”. I need answers, people. What black magic devil spell does Renee Zellwegger have Bradley under? I am looking for possible reasons for this coupling. Please help me out in the comments or I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

Oh, and while we’re at it, someone explain this to me as well.

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