Blazed Movie Reviews: ‘Playing For Keeps’

K. Thor Jensen Contributing Writer, Entertainment

keeps Blazed Movie Reviews: Playing For Keeps

FilmDistrict


I can’t smoke pot at home anymore because I am trying to remain civilized. So I do it at the movies. This week: absolutely nothing good came out so I had to see Playing For Keeps, the new Gerard Butler romantic comedy.

People think reviewing movies and doing drugs is such a great job. How hard can it be? You smoke a bowl and go to the movies and let loose some nonsense and call it a day and get a paycheck. It’s not like I’m filing TPS reports all day. But then I remind you, dear reader, that sometimes I have to see things like Playing For Keeps. This movie is really, really bad.

I don’t know what the deal is with Gerard Butler. Okay, sure, he made 300 which was great but since then he’s been in Katherine Heigl movies and who does that? Who wants to do that with their life? This is basically another Katherine Heigl movie without Katherine Heigl, it’s that kind of movie. A movie for ladies to see. Gerard Butler plays a soccer coach who bangs a lot of MILFs before he meets the Right Girl. And… that’s basically it.

Okay, here’s the first problem with this movie: the End Girl is Jessica Biel. Why the hell would you bang some other lady when you could be banging Jessica Biel? It’s just not logical. Gerard Butler spends a ton of the movie just getting into his car and driving somewhere and then getting out of his car. Not car chases, just driving scenes to kill time. The whole movie just feels… weird. Like it’s barely there. I remember that back in the day they’d make movies like this to show on Cinemax late at night, movies where a dude banged a bunch of chicks and found True Love in the end. They were just an excuse to dole out some topless titties, but they did the job.

This movie doesn’t even do the job. It’s lazy and horrible and boring and weird and I really didn’t enjoy seeing it and I hope you can convince whatever lady you have in your life that you shouldn’t see it.

Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos and grammar mistakes but left everything else in.

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