Lindsay Lohan, a male porn star, and Bret Easton Ellis

K. Thor Jensen Contributing Writer, Entertainment

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…walk into a bar. The bartender says “No way in hell, guys.” Actually they’re making a movie! Don’t call it a comeback, but not only is Li-Lo making an ABC Family Channel movie and showing her hooters, she’s also starring in a flick written by the guy who wrote American Psycho. Her co-star? Dick for hire James Deen.

The Canyons started as a Kickstarter project, because if anybody needs to use Kickstarter it’s super-wealthy authors like Bret Easton Ellis. A former Lionsgate producer is backing it, and the director is Paul Schrader (American Gigolo). They only raised $150,000, which seems like not a lot of money. Most of that probably went to Li-Lo, leaving pennies for James Deen. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Lohan thought she was actually starring opposite legendary (and long-dead) actor James Dean when all is said and done, though.

The film starts production on July 9th. No word on whether Lindsay’s recent car crash (and the booze found in a water bottle in her car) will delay this sure-to-be cinematic masterpiece.