‘Scary Movie 5′ will exist, parody ‘Black Swan’
K. Thor Jensen 
Dimension Films
Who even sees these movies? Is it just old people who got lost inside a theater and can’t ever leave?
A new synopsis has dropped of Scary Movie 5 at Feature Film Auditions, a resource site for actors that helps them find new projects. It’s been two years since Scary Movie 4, so the mediocre minds behind the franchise have obviously been recharging their creative batteries. Either that or they’ve been waiting for a movie to parody/rip off. Probably the second. Here’s the synopsis
The story in Scary Movie 5 involves the dance world, with a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French director of a dance company named Pierre putting on a huge production. Jody, a Caucasian late 20′s mother of two and her late-20′s African American friend Kendra are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skipped mid-30′s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry, gets cut from the production and goes berserk.
Okay, this is obviously Black Swan with a little Bring It On thrown in for good measure. Of course the French guy is named Pierre. Of course the Black woman is named Kendra. But let’s think about this: Black Swan came out in 2010. Scary Movie 5 won’t come out until 2013 at the earliest. It’s one thing when you’re parodying timeless movies that are part of the cultural lexicon, but was the world really clamoring for ballerinas farting? The first four movies have an average of 35% on Rotten Tomatoes (mostly due to the first movie hitting 53%), and I wouldn’t be surprised if this one managed to bring that already miserable rating down a few points, especially since franchise star Anna Faris has already said “hell to the naw” to appearing in it.
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