Steven Seagal runs like a bitch

I’m not entirely sure why, but this may be the funniest video I’ve seen on the Internet in a while. Sure, you may not have thought of Steven Seagal in years…but check out the clip and you’ll have a whole new affinity for him.

The description of the video on YouTube encapsulates it pretty nicely:

Steven Seagal doesn’t run a lot. This is presumably because running everywhere would not be very in-keeping with his established lethargic style. Sure Seagal is a bad Mother-F, trifle with him and he’ll be on you like a flannel, but all credibility goes straight out the window when he is forced to apprehend a trifler (or bad guy). His involuntary circular hand action (when running) is beyond ridiculous. Where some people say he has a “style of his own”, I prefer to say “he runs like a mincing homosexual”. Hopefully this video reflects my point. GO SEAGAL!

That guy is right. The only way Steven Seagal could run with more of a gay lilt would be if he were bleeding from the anus with a guy named Big Jorge running behind him. He runs like he’s trying to limply swat away miniature flies perpetually circling his torso. Not very badass at all, Mr. Seagal.



---
Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now:


Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

More from Chris Spags       Follow Chris Spags on Twitter

--- WATCH OUR LATEST GUYISM ORIGINAL! ---

Join the Discussion