The 10 most rotten TV kids of all-time
Jeff Wysaski
TV characters are supposed set a good example for the millions of kids watching at home. To the dismay of parents everywhere, these 10 most rotten kids of all time have been teaching children everywhere how to lie, cheat and steal their ways through adolescence.
Dennis the Menace
With a nickname like “The Menace,” you know you’ve got a rotten kid on your hands. Since 1951, Dennis Mitchell has been terrorizing poor Mr. Wilson from the Sunday comics section of the newspaper. Four different television runs have also given life to this little terror from the suburbs. With his patented slingshot and blonde cowlick, Dennis the Menace has become a template for numerous modern-day TV troublemakers.
Bart Simpson – The Simpsons
There’s more than a little bit of Dennis the Menace in Springfield’s most infamous bad boy. The Simpsons debuted on Fox in 1989 with a Christmas special that featured Bart singing altered lyrics in the school Christmas pageant and getting a tattoo as a Christmas present for Marge. From these humble beginnings, Bart has been the thorn in the paw of pretty much every adult in Springfield – most notably Principle Skinner and, of course, Homer. And yet, after 20 years of writing on the black board every week and countless choking sessions from his dad (“Why you little!”), Bart continues to be “an underachiever and proud of it.”
Mandark – Dexter’s Laboratory
Every hero needs a villain. For Dexter, boy genius, this rival came in the form of Mandark, the diabolical nerd extraordinaire. Born to a couple of hippie parents who had the audacity to give him the birth name of Susan, Mandark has more than a few issues to deal with. Unfortunately, he uses his pent-up anger and super genius to continually try to shut down Dexter’s laboratory and win the hand of his secret crush – Dee Dee. With plans that include stealing Dexter’s latest inventions and bringing to life the heads of Mt. Rushmore so they can battle each other, Mandark’s patented evil laugh will ring through the ages.
The Malcolm in the Middle Boys
Any parent would have their hands full with the four boys from Malcolm in the Middle. Reese is the school bully who perpetually wails on Krelboynes. Malcolm is the genius that uses his high intelligence to concoct plans to sneak out at night. Dewey is the weird little brother that once manipulated a friend’s mother into throwing a birthday party for him. And Francis is the older role model who set the car on fire and got sent to military school. Put it all together, and these boys are by far some of the most rotten ever to grace the television screen.
Stewie – Family Guy
In the early seasons of Family Guy, Stewie’s main goal was to murder his mother. He’s also hatched plans to control the world’s weather and render Peter sterile by shrinking down to microscopic size and blasting all of his sperm. Though the newer episodes of Family Guy see Stewie more as a burgeoning homosexual than an evil mastermind, the football-headed one-year-old is still anything but angelic.
Every Girl on My Super Sweet 16
MTV’s deplorable reality show pulled back the curtain on an awful subsection of kids in America – the rich and spoiled. And unlike the other TV stars on this list, the horror of these girls is magnified by the fact that they actually exist in real life. Temper tantrums and yelling at mommy and daddy are the norm for this disgusting set of pre-teen Primadonnas. Sadly, long after the plug was pulled on this show, these Daddy’s Little Princesses will continue to exist and grow into stuck-up trophy wives.
Bud and Kelly – Married…With Children
The Bundys are without a doubt one of the most awful families in TV history. Much of this credit goes to the two adolescents of the Bundy clan – Bud and Kelly. Bud uses tasteless plans and alter egos such as Grandmaster B to routinely try to get girls to sleep with him. On the other hand, Kelly is the school tramp who stays out past curfew and brings a new boy home every night. Though they grew up from rotten kids into rotten adults over the show’s 11-season run, one thing was sure: the fabled “Bundy Curse” was strong with these two.
Maeby Funke – Arrested Development
There seems to be a running thread in this list – rich family plus non-existent parenting equals rotten kids. For Maeby, her lack of poor role models extended throughout the entire Bluth family. With such bad girl tendencies as skipping school, stealing money from the banana stand and pretending to be disabled to receive charity money, Maeby fits right in with the rest of her dysfunctional family.
Beavis and Butt-Head
From the first time these two were seen smashing frogs with a baseball bat, it was clear that Beavis and Butt-Head would be the bane of nurturing parents everywhere. With no parents in sight, the two teens are essentially raised on nachos and heavy metal music videos. Whether it’s Beavis’ obsession with fire or Butt-Head’s perpetual goal to score with chicks, these were the two kids in the 1990s that every real kid had to sneak behind his mother’s back in order to watch.
Eric Cartman – South Park
When it comes to being evil, Eric Cartman is rotten to the core. Racist, crude, narcissistic, selfish – you name it and he’s got it. More so than any other character on this list, Cartman will go to sick, twisted and evil measures to make sure he gets his way. From dressing up like AWESOM-O to get Butters to reveal his embarrassing secrets to killing Scott Tenorman’s parents and feeding them to him in a vat of chili, Cartman is one demented kid. I think everyone can agree that this little hell-raiser could use some discipline in his life – too bad his mother is too busy supplying him with an endless supply of Cheesy Poofs and being the town slut to offer any real form of parenting.
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