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This guy is only proposing because she would have thrown him through the window if he didn’t. Devious.

Clarksville police said they arrested a woman on Wednesday morning after she repeatedly made non-emergency calls to the city’s 911 system.

Hee Orama, 34, was arrested after police said she recently made frequent calls to 911 complaining about a man lying to her about marrying her.

Police said they responded to two calls from Orama and explained that this was not an emergency situation and to stop calling.

Poor Hee. That does seem kind of unfair. Men, let this be a lesson…never tell a woman you’re going to marry her. Marriage is not something to be joked about (unless it involves holding your wife’s wedding ring-clad finger up to a couple of gay guys and going, “Nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah, there’s no reason at all why you can’t have thissssss.”). This guy basically undercut every principle I know of marriage. You don’t make false promises…you sleep with a woman, date her, she “accidentally” forgets to take her birth control, a month later she tells you she’s pregnant, you cry, you hastily get married, the baby comes out black even though you’re both gingers, and you spend the rest of your life in complete misery. That is how it was written in The Bible and we can’t deviate from that. It was that verse in Exodus. Uh, the chapter that’s after the one about Jesus and why you’re not allowed to do cool stuff. Yeah, that one.

[WSMV]

I may be way out of touch (actually I know I am) but I had never heard of this Haley Bennett before today. Then I saw her at Nylon magazine’s November Issue Launch Party the other day and I was smitten. Turns out that Haley is a 21 year-old American singer and actress. Pfftt… Who knew? (You probably.) She was in the movie College (heard of it) and The Haunting of Molly Hartley (never heard of it) and also made a cameo in the movie Marley & Me (heard of it). And after seeing her today I hope she is actually in a movie I want to watch some day, because I like… (She needs to learn a new pose though.)

I’ve seen chicks with six packs before… (Granted, most of them were in poorly lit strip clubs, but that’s neither here nor there) but never one as confident as this chick.

Well done young lady.  We here at Guyism applaud you.

I’m a big supporter of our troops; for example, I occasionally wear a camouflage hoodie and when people ask me, “What’s up with the hoodie?” I reply “AMERICA, THAT’S WHAT’S UP.” My irrationality aside, this video is just awesome. Maybe you have to be an animal lover to get it, but these dogs’ reactions to their owner coming home stirred something in my black heart.

If you aren’t just a little touched by this, I have no faith in you as a human being. If you lose a little faith in production values at the end though, understandable (never before have I been disappointed to hear Green Day prematurely cut off).

Hopefully Mrs. Soldier was as generous with the tail waggings and licks.

[Something Awful Forums]

Bob Sanders makes a ton of great tackles…..when he’s healthy

Bob Sanders is a pro-bowl level safety…when he’s healthy

Bob Sanders is a player you can build your franchise around…when he’s healthy

And that my friends is the way Sanders will always be remembered.  A great player that was often hurt.

Of his 6 years in the league, he has only played more than 6 games twice.

Twice???

That doesn’t even constitute half a season.  47 games in 6 seasons.  And now, after only playing 2 games this season, ESPNs Adam Schefter is reporting that he is done for the year with a torn biceps tendon.

Listen, I realize guys want to get as much money they can, while they can.  A few bumps and bruises and a surgery here and there can patch most guys up.  But at what point do you say, “I just can’t go on”.

Tony Dungy seems to be everyone’s mentor these days so maybe he can offer some words of advice for Bob.  And hopefully for Sanders sake,  they include the words, “Hang ‘em up”.

Dogs bite people sometimes and, if it’s bad enough, the dog might get put down. It’s sad, but so are a lot of things. But what about when your partially blind dog bites your husband so bad that he dies? Well, if you’re this British woman, you go, “Eh, it happens” and keep the dog.

A father died after being nipped by his dog during a game of fetch.

Steven Sewell, 55, was on holiday in the Scottish Highlands with his wife Angela and teenage son David when the family’s partially blind dog Judy bit him.

The retired teacher patched up the small wound with tissue and carried on as normal because he was not in any pain.

However, an inquest has heard how he began complaining of shivers and sickness a few days later.

He was taken to hospital, where doctors diagnosed blood poisoning, and he died a few days later after the infection spread to his brain.

The family say the dog has never behaved aggressively, and are keeping her in spite of the freak accident.

Mrs Sewell, 53, said of the incident: ‘It was not vicious. It was just bad eyesight and tragic, but you have to accept it and move on.’

[Daily Mail]

The MTV Europe Music Awards took place last night at the O2 World in Berlin, Germany. Not sure why they have separate awards for Europe versus the awards they already give here in the United States, but they do. Doesn’t really matter though. Any excuse for babes like Bar Refaeli, Shakira and Beyonce to get all dressed up is fine with me. Also in attendance included (in order below, after the three aforementioned ladies) Asia Argento, Juliette Lewis, Lil’ Kim (and her massive cleavage), Leona Lewis, Pixie Lott, Katy Perry, and Joss Stone.

I really pray that this is a Halloween costume. I can understand buying the car or sleeping with younger women or sneaking into high schools and pretending you’re a new student, but in reality you just want to sniff the cheerleaders’ skirts right after they put them in their lockers after practice. But trying to look like a 14 year-old emo kid when you have to be pushing 40 or more…there are better things to do with your time. Plus young chicks with daddy complexes don’t want to bone someone with anime hair. The older you can look without a dialysis machine, the better.

[NextRound]

Colleges don’t win football, catches win football. Tim Brown knows his stuff and picks his games like it’s going out of style. Next up: LSU vs Alabama in Week 10…

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Consider the stereotypes people have about Detroit…murder, dilapidated buildings, unemployment, etc…

Just a few months ago a man was lying dead in a vacant building while people played floor hockey around him. No one bothered to call the police…

But last night, well, this might be the wost of them all.

A 19-year-old Michigan State University student leaving a Red Wings hockey game with friends Thursday night was dragged more than a quarter-mile under a car and killed, police said.

Let me repeat that for you….1/4 mile. The distance around a track. More than a thousand feet. As a native Detroiter that knows the area, I can’t believe that nobody saw anything (including this person’s friends). Considering this happened after a Red Wings game, there must have been at the very least, several hundred people within a small radius.

Whether the driver of the car was drunk or just simply didn’t care, I truly find this to be appalling.

Click for full size

I like how the thug gentleman doesn’t name a price. The odds of you leaving with your house robbed and your child still not fixed seem unavoidably high.

So, is being a real thug a skilled service? I mean I guess there’s a certain art form to hustling, but I don’t think what the thug is offering is actually skilled. Making crazy eyes and going, “You don’t know what it’s like YOU LITTLE BITCH” then smacking a wall seems like something anyone with a regional theatre background could do. I don’t think you actually need experience shanking someone to scare a wannabe thug kid in the white area of Williamstown, New Jersey. You could probably just show him a flash card of a black guy in a doorag and he’d be horrified. They know black people there like you know yetis.

[Craigslist via Reddit]

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I dare any of you who voted in our poll in the right sidebar and called the Sexiest Woman in the World Kate Beckinsale overrated to look at these photos of her at the premiere of some movie called Everybody’s Fine and tell me exactly how you can overrate perfection? C’mon, I’m waiting… That’s what I thought.

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Unlike most Americans, I rather enjoy watching soccer. I think its awesome when a guy fakes an injury, stays down for 10 minutes and they came out with the magic spray and he’s back in scoring goals.

But I can assure you that you’ll enjoy this highlight reel much more. It involves mud wrestling, hot chicks, hair pulling, tripping, and punching…

Ok, everything except the mud wrestling and hot chicks applies here.

Oh, and #15 for New Mexico, some chick named Elizabeth Lambert, might be the dirtiest player in the history of the sport. She’s got a career as a WWE diva. Vince McMahon’s already made the call

I really don’t have much I can add to these photos of Ashley Greene pumping gas in Los Angeles the other day. She is wearing skin-tight jeans, a tank top, she’s sucking on a lollipop. I mean, what’s not to like here? Man, I am definitely buying my fuel at the wrong gas stations…

There are those nights when you truly just want to grab a beer (or seven), hang out with your friends, and complain about work. But then there are the other nights when you use up all your hair gel, iron your jeans, and truly just want to get laid. Once you spot a girl at the bar and reel her in with your subtle-yet-strong eye contact, you’ve began a modern day phenomenon known by scientists as the bar relationship. It can either either end right at that very bar or it can actually progress into a full-fledged committed relationship.

Level 1 – Flirtatious relationship

You say something insanely witty, she says something sexual back, and before you know it conversation is flying back and forth faster than the girl can keep adding her drinks to your tab. Either she signals her friends with a loud sneeze, gives you a phone number that starts with 1-800, and starts talking to another guy at the bar

Or you move onto …

Level 2 – A bar make-out session

Throughout the night your heads are getting closer and closer until finally the inevitable kiss happens. You both look at each other, laugh, and say I’m not really into PDA. Ten seconds later you’re having a full-on-hands-up-the-shirt make-out sesh that’s being filmed for a Youtube premiere by the creepy loner in the corner. Either she’s serious about not liking PDA and causes a huge scene by telling you to seriously stop

Or you move onto …

Level 3: Bathroom stall groping

Things are starting to get a little too hot and heavy for the bar and after hearing one too many whistles from spectators, you head towards the bathroom. Once that stall door is locked (and you drown out the angry yells from people in the bathroom line) bras come off and belts are loosened. Either you sneak out of the stall while she tries to get her heel unjammed from the toilet bowl…

Or you move onto …

Level 4: A one night stand

You bring her back to your place, give her a mini tour (point to the bedroom) and then put on the Marvin Gaye mix you made just for a night like this. Before either of you can go over each other’s names again, all clothes are off, and you’re praying your condoms aren’t expired. Either you snore loudly and pretend to be asleep as she prepares herself for the time-honored walk-of-shame

Or you move onto…

Level 5: A weekend fling

Neither of you want to get out of bed when you wake up in the morning. You bring up a funny story from last night, she shows you a weird shaped bruise she got when you couldn’t hold her up against the wall anymore.You spend the next two days tangled up in sheets sharing your life dreams, confessing your biggest fears, and coming up with a quality safe word. Either she takes the confessions too far and admits she was technically born a man

Or you move onto…

Level 6: Booty call

You can’t always recall where she’s from or what exactly she does for a living, but you do remember that she can do it in handstand position. Over the next month or so you call each other when either person is horny, lonely, and/or bored. Either you start to develop a strange rash that she explains away by saying that it will come and go for the rest of your life

Or you move onto…

Level 7: A serious relationship

Not only is she a cirque du soleil alum in bed, but you actually enjoy spending time with her doing other things like eating out at restaurants and holding hands in public. You’re just dying to meet her parents and you don’t get so angry anymore when she calls you by a cutesy nickname. Either this ends in a horrific break-up scene where the neighbors call the cops or you get married and entertain yourself for the next 50 years telling everyone that your wife was supposed to only be a one-night stand

1982… Cal Ripken, Jr. starts the first game of his baseball career. Gordon Johncock wins his second Indy 500 over Rick Mears by 0.16 seconds. Lawn Chair Larry, flies 16,000 feet above Long Beach, California in a lawn chair with weather balloons attached. And so many sexy women were born that I had to split this into two posts. The more the merrier I say!

For the next several weeks we will be taking a look at the sexiest women born between the years 1962 and 1991, culminating with you deciding which of these over 300 women is our 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. Each birth year offers something special with beautiful women representing countries around the globe. These lists feature actresses, models, singers, athletes… Trust me, no one is left out.

(Click the pics to see more of each lady.)

Be sure to vote at the end of this post for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

- – - – - – - – 1982 – - – - – - – -

Ana Beatriz Barros (Brazilian model) – – – – – – – – – Anna Paquin (Kiwi actress)

Kristen Kreuk (Canadian actress) – – – – – – – – – Danica Patrick (American race car driver)

Devon Aoki (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Michelle Marsh (British model)

Sophia Bush (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Amber Rose (American model)

Adrianne Curry (American model) – – – – – – – – – Roxanne Pallett (British actress)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR THE LADIES OF OTHER YEARS!

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Andres Nocioni got booked for a DUI….apparently he must have still been drunk after he got bailed out.  Dude looks hit up.

Rough night eh?