10 events that led to Randy Marsh’s divorce

A. Isaac Senior Editor

randy marsh divorce south park 10 events that led to Randy Marshs divorce

South Park’s strange mid-season finale last week prompted many fans to wonder if creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were calling it quits. The episode, titled “You’re getting old” was more or less a reflection of the show itself.

Sadly, at the end of the episode, it’s revealed that Randy and Sharon Marsh are getting divorced. For those who are fans of the show, the news didn’t come as a surprise. Frankly, Randy’s shenanigans the last few seasons, while hilarious, were destined to get the two separated.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane and detail exactly what led to Randy and Sharon calling it quits.

10 Randy gets in drunken fights at baseball games

Probably the first in a long line of epic Randy drunk moments over the years is the infamous “Losing Edge” episode where he takes on the ever powerful “Batdad” at the kids Little League game. Randy comes out victorious in the end (with an awesome Rocky-like interlude), but not before being hauled off to jail (much to the embarrassment of his wife Sharon)

9 Randy gives himself cancer so he can get medicinal marijuana

Randy’s love of marijuana became so strong that he was literally willing to do anything to get it, even if it meant giving himself cancer. So he tried a number of different things to achieve this–laying out in the sun, giving himself repeated x-rays, and my personal favorite, sticking his genitals in the microwave. It was this particular carcinogen that led to his elephantitis balls. And of course, it also led to Randy dragging said humongous testicles to the marijuana store while singing Bob Marley’s, “Buffalo Soldier”.

8 Randy takes the world’s biggest dump

What started out as simply too much P.F. Chang’s quickly turned into Randy trying to take the world’s biggest dump. He’s forced to go to Zurich to verify his poo to the European Faecal Standards and Measurements Institute. There, he unloads the beast which measures at 100 courics (one Katie Couric is approximately two and a half pounds of excrement).

7 Randy forces Stan to cheat in Derby race

Until recently, Randy was always seen as a good father to his kids. That is, until the Pinewood Derby race where he forces his son Stan to repeatedly lie about using parts not contained in the kit. The car then breaks the space-time continuum, heads off into the universe and the episode takes a wild turn with aliens. Nevertheless, Randy continues the “little white lie” before Stan finally fesses up.

6 Randy’s accidental racism on “Wheel of Fortune”

In perhaps Randy’s worst moment in the show’s history, he goes on “Wheel of Fortune” and utters the word n-gger. Sharon and the kids are in the audience and they’re absolutely mortified along with the rest of the town who are watching on TV. He’s later forced to kiss the Reverend Jesse Jackson’s ass in an apology.

5 Randy hints that he has a small penis

Being the town scientist had its perks for Randy, even if he was only a geologist. In “T.M.I”, the school allows Randy to teach the kids a new formula for adjusted penis length. And, surprise, surprise we find out that Randy’s weiner rivals that of an erect Brett Favre. No wonder Sharon left him–dude’s giving her a “hot dog down a hallway”.

4 Randy’s love of “World of Warcraft”

Randy creates his own character in World of Warcraft after he finds out that’s it the big craze among the kids. Sadly, “Falcorn” is killed at the end when the griefer named Jenkins slays him. However, Randy is able to get the sword of a thousand truths to Stan before his demise. A touching moment between father and son ensues but again, it gives more fuel to the fire burning inside Sharon.

3 Randy wants to be a celebrity chef

Not only does Randy become obsessed with cooking and becoming a chef, he watches hours upon hours of shows from the Food Network. After Sharon blocks the channel from him, Randy calls the Food Network hotline and uh, well, he almost gets “creme fraiche” all over the phone while his wife spies on him.

2 Randy gets a DUI in front of the kids

Randy gets blasted and attempts to drive the kids home and gets pulled over by South Park police in the process. It’s in this episode that the viewers find it that Randy is indeed, a certified alcoholic. He slurs, “what’s the officer problem” during the sobriety test.

1 Steamy Ray Vaugh…Randy likes “tween wave”

Unfortunately, Randy’s enjoyment of the new “tween wave” music was the final straw for Sharon. She reveals at the end of the episode that she hasn’t been happy for years and cites Randy’s numerous fascinations as the reason why. She also wasn’t pleased with his new music partner, “Steamy Nix”.

What'd you think of this?

Cast My Vote

Other Stories You Might LIke

comment on this story

blog comments powered by Disqus