32 year-old man calls cops when his mom takes his beer
Chris Spags There are few things weirder than an adult man with some serious mommy issues; one can’t help but imagine that man dressed up like a baby, suckling on his 60 year-old mother and going, “Baby needs a changey.” But my fetishes aside, you have to feel bad for/despite this Florida man who called 911 because his mom was withholding his beer.
According to the St. Petersburg Times:
Charles Dennison, 32, who was “very intoxicated,” told a deputy who went to their home that he wanted his mother arrested for taking his beer, according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. If she wasn’t charged, he said, he would continue to call 911.
A deputy charged him with making false 911 calls and took him to the jail in Land O’Lakes, where he remained Monday morning.
It’s unclear if the mother took Dennison’s beer to drink for herself or if it was because Dennison was a very bad boy who didn’t clean his room. “If you don’t clean your room, you won’t get your Pabst Blue Ribbon for dessert,” she may have creepily said while wearing a nightgown that blows open in their drafty, white trash deco home. Either way, I think we can safely say that Mr. Dennison shan’t be inventing a solution to the BP oil spill any time soon, assuming the solution doesn’t involve firecrackers, a half-eaten footlong sub, and a strong case of co-dependency.
Pasco man calls 911 to report his mother took his beer
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus