7 tasteless Halloween costumes for 2010
Max Steven Miller
Halloween is only a few days away and many of you are still scrambling around trying to figure out a costume. Instead of breaking out your cheesy “This IS my Halloween Costume” t-shirt, you might want to try one of these tasteless gems on for size. They’re all abnormal, yet relevant to the past year. And nothing is more satisfying than when people don’t approve of something you yourself find incredibly funny.
7 Lamar Odom/Khloe Kardashian Costume
The good ol’ half man/half woman costume is nothing new. The problem with this costume is that one half always looks awkward because men and women aren’t usually the same size. Well, this problem is immediately solved if you dress as Lakers forward, Lamar Odom and his oversized wife, Khloe Kardashian. All of a sudden, your broad shoulders are no longer an issue. You can also pull off the same type of costume if you choose to dress as Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian’s ass.
6 Ex-BP CEO Tony Hayward Costume
This costume is more in the acting you’ll do than in the costume itself. Just break out a suit and toss on a helmet with the BP logo on it. From the minute you walk into whatever party you attend, start spilling liquids everywhere. Apologize repeatedly and proclaim that you wish this would all end and that you’d “like your life back”. Then continue to enjoy yourself at the party while everyone else scrambles to clean up the mess you’ve made.
5 The Michael Vick Comeback Costume
Yes, Michael Vick is finally back making some headlines that don’t have anything to do with animal cruelty. Unless you count the beatings he gave to the Lions and Jaguars this season. But this might be a good time to save some money and recycle your costume from 2007. Grab a sharpie, cross out “Falcons” and replace it with “Eagles”. As for the noose wrapped around your stuff toy dog’s neck, just replace that sucker with a leash and you’ve been successfully rehabbed and reinvented.
4 STD Snooki Costume
There’s no question that there will be Jersey Shore costumes all over the place this Halloween. So, how do you make yourself stand out in a room full of fist-pumpers? Run to the make-up store and grab some of those latex scars. Apply them to your lips and BOOM!… You’re STD Snooki. And you’re probably a lot more authentic than everyone else dressed as her.
3 Cheating Chilean Miner Costume
Perhaps the most memorable of all the Chilean miner stories was the one who asked both his wife and his mistress to meet him when he was rescued. Ask two of your female friends to join you on this one. Grab yourself a mining helmet and some sunglasses. Have one of your girls dress as your wife in a bathrobe, curlers, and carry around a rolling pin (basically be as sexist as possible), while the mistress girl should get all made up and dress a little skanky. In every picture you take, have your wife hitting you over the head with her rolling pin while you make out with your mistress.
2 SCRAM Bracelet Lindsay Lohan Costume
Women use Halloween as an excuse to dress incredibly provocative and get absolutely hammered. That’s why this costume is perfect for doing both. Wear revealing clothing (underwear is best left at home), get wrecked, and when people accuse you of being drunk, deny it while you point to your SCRAM bracelet and claim that it’s just your perfume setting it off.
1 Tiger Woods Costume
It might be old news by now, but this is the first Halloween that you’ll be able to grab your Nike visor and golf club to dress as everyone’s favorite womanizing golfer since the big Thanksgiving incident. Grab a bunch of Velcro and some naked Barbie dolls, attach them all over your body, and spend most of your time texting. If you want to borrow your Chilean Miner buddy’s wife for a picture, make sure to replace her rolling pin with a golf club to hit you over the head with.
follow guyism:
Other Stories You Might LIke
8 things to master before you’re 30
10 actors with the most insane acting range
9 haircuts parents should STOP giving their children
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus