VIDEO: How to get the man of your dreams (probably not)

The fine folks at Everything Is Terrible cut down this video designed to teach girls to get the man of their dreams. It may shock you to learn that the advice is, shall we say, not so great.

I like an aggressive girl (Ladies, feel free to honk on my genitals and say, “Me likey” whenever you please…even if you’re functionally retarded, we’re probably a go). But that husky gal in the second clip definitely was a bit too forward for me. She was talking about “Some Like It Hot,” but she very easily could have been talking about the musty jungle that is the area between her groin and her thighs. It’s like being in a Brazilian rainforest, only with rich plant life and machete kidnappings being replaced by lost Fritos and constant requests to scratch that part of her back “where mah scratchin’ stick dun reach.”

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