Anti-gay, anti-masturbation minister Grant Storms arrested allegedly jacking at playground
Chris Spags It’s never really a shocker when some holier-than-thou type gets caught with his pants down (literally or figuratively). But this is a particularly egregious example: New Orleans Christian fundamentalist minister Grant Storms was arrested after allegedly rubbing one out next to a playground.
Storms was taken into custody after two women reported seeing him spanking it in his van, located near a carousel and playground.
According to the police report, one woman claims that Storms was “looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down.”
Upon noticing the man alleged to be Storms masturbating, the two women escorted their children out of the area.
Storms was booked with obscenity charges and was being held on a $5,000 bond before being released due to jail overcrowding.
Storms is most known in the Louisiana area for his protests of local event “Southern Decadence”, a local gay event Storms has previously called “disgusting”. He’s also previously railed against the Roman-Catholic church and leads his own Christian church called The Reformer Church.
After the controversy, Storms issued a public apology. When asked what he’d tell his kids, Storms said in his apology:
“I’ll have to tell them, ‘Daddy has a problem,’” he said, weeping.
Look, say what you will about the hypocrisy of Grant Storms and how dark his demons may be. Personally, I’m most offended by what a horrific stereotype he is given his prominent position in the community. Seriously? Jacking it in a van by a playground? Did he have a sign that said “Free Candy” on the side of it too? At least be a little creative with it. Do it in a phone booth, dress up as a clown. Mix things up. No one’s ever even gotten the opportunity to say, “Man, that guy jacking it near the playground was creepy, but at least he did it with pizazz.” Your fault, creepos.
Anti-Gay, Anti-Masturbation Pastor Caught Masturbating Next to Playground [NY Mag]
Southern Decadence protest leader booked with masturbating at Metairie park [NOLA.com]
Rev. Grant Storms Apologizes [Best of New Orleans]
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