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CloseIf you’ve got fond memories of movies you loved as a kid, then do yourself a favor and NEVER WATCH THEM AGAIN. Almost universally, the pre-teen viewer has much lower standards when it comes to identifying quality cinema. As such, a re-watch of one of your favorite childhood movies may ultimately ruin the happy nostalgia that goes along with it. On this subject, here are 10 awful movies that you probably loved as a kid.
Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros.
Man, when you were a kid, the foul-mouthed prank-pulling Junior sure seemed like one cool dude. However, once you reach puberty you come to realize that these movies really offer nothing but 90 minutes of pure obnoxiousness. Of all the terrible scenes, the one in Problem Child 2 that results in a mass puke-fest at a local fair sticks in my mind as the absolute most unwatchable.
Photo credit: YouTube/Universal Pictures
For any young sports fan, Rookie of the Year was a must-see. The movie saw a young 12-year-old entering the major leagues after a broken arm caused his tendons to heal too tightly -– a fact that somehow resulted in him being able to throw a 103-mph fastball. Based on that plot synopsis, it’s easy to see how this hackneyed movie would be hard to stomach as an adult. Sadly, not even the presence of a pre-crazy Gary Busey could make me ever want to watch this movie again.
Photo credit: YouTube/20th Century Fox
As a kid, the combination of Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan starring in a film seemed all too perfect. Unfortunately, Jordan’s lackluster acting performance and a fairly juvenile plot line don’t do much to make the movie palatable for the 18-to-45 segment. Add in an annoying performance by Wayne Knight and a slew of poorly acted cameos from other sports stars, and you’ll likely have difficulty getting through the entire 88 minutes of this flick.
Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros.
Oh man, can you imagine what it would be like if some rich adult gave you a blank check!? Wouldn’t that be awesome!? Yes, as a kid this plot line is enough to deliver a number of fun scenes and what-if scenarios. Unfortunately, as an adult the idea of a 12-year-old kid outsmarting a bunch of money launderers and getting a competent bank teller to cash out a million-dollar check seems a bit ridiculous.
Photo credit: YouTube/Walt Disney Pictures
Good lord, the movie poster alone is enough to make me wonder why I ever dragged my parents to the Cineplex to see this one. In an “hilarious” case of fish out of water, the “very funny” Tim Allen bring his long-lost 13-year-old son to New York from his native tropical island. And in the end, guess what? Both learn a little bit about life after a bunch of silly misunderstandings take place.
Photo credit: YouTube/Walt Disney Pictures
Air Bud was the movie that spawned one of the cheesiest and most horrendous movie franchises of all time. In this original piece of cinema magic, a golden retriever’s amazing basketball skills serve as the focal point for a number of unbelievable trick shots and plot points. While the idea of watching a dog shoot a few hoops might sound like a good idea for a two-minute YouTube video, it’s a little harder to stretch the idea into a full-length feature.
Photo credit: YouTube/Walt Disney Pictures
Let’s just go ahead and say that any movie that features a talking baby is going to be a pretty terrible movie. As a young one, we laughed at all the funny quips that baby Mikey (voiced by Bruce Willis) spouted off via voice over. Sadly, the insertion of baby thoughts into an otherwise stereotypical romantic comedy isn’t enough to keep it fresh for the typical grown-up.
Photo credit: YouTube/TriStar Pictures
I hate to break it to you guys, but Flight of the Navigator is a terrible movie. Say what you want, but I saw it not too long ago and was shocked and appalled at just how awful this cherished childhood memory actually was. As a kid, I loved the quirky and weird Paul Mall space ship (voiced by Paul Reubens). As an adult, I found myself completely annoyed by his voice within about five minutes.
Photo credit: YouTube/Walt Disney Pictures
There’s nothing cooler than a bunch of kids beating up a bunch of grown-ups. Add in some great ninja weapons and few funny one-liners, and 3 Ninjas was an easy win at the box office. Watch it now, however, and you’ll realize how staged all the stunts are and just how unfathomable it is to see three young kids defeating an entire army of ninja assassins.
Photo credit: YouTube/Touchstone Pictures
Whether it’s Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Jail or Ernest Scared Stupid, there’s really nothing in these movies that can be enjoyed by a normal adult human being. There’s a bunch of uninspired practical jokes, a predictable plot line and an annoying and clumsy hero at the center of it all. If you flip on one of these movies and actually have the stones to make it all way to the end, well then, my friend, I commend you.
Photo credit: YouTube/Touchstone Pictures
(Previously published on January 11, 2011.)
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