Man banned from grocery store due to love of large chicken breasts

In the type of comic confusion typically reserved for sitcoms involving a fat man, Al Stults Jr. got himself banned from a Colorado-area Safeway. The reason? Stults like big chicken breasts and, unfortunately, his request for some rubbed a deli clerk the wrong way.

According to a report from the Denver Westword, Stults went to the deli counter to order chicken breasts. He pointed at the breasts and said, “I like the large ones,” which got a chuckle from the clerk whom Stults refers to as “heavy-set.”

A week later, Stults returned and ordered some more chicken breasts however the woman who served him previously walked away when she saw him coming. Her replacement at the deli counter was surly, according to Stults, which induced him to complain to a manager.

Stults says:

“She was so, so mad,” he maintains. “She said, ‘The last time you were here, you giggled about this woman’s large breasts.’ And I said, ‘Oh, baloney.’ And then she opened up her flip phone and called the police, and I listened to her make up this whole story about me cussing and threatening her.”

The story goes on but, in short, the Safeway’s complaint resulted in Stults getting hit with a trespassing notice from local police which prohibits him from going to the store for the next year.

This is obviously embarrassing and possibly inconvenient for Stults. He should file a lawsuit against them. Not because of the fact he can’t shop at Safeway, mind you, but rather because they’re pretty much saying that Al Stults is not only a chubby chaser, but a chubby chaser with bad pick-up lines at that. I just hope he doesn’t make a similar mistake at the local Jennifer Convertibles, innocently seeking a couch with more cushion for his pushing-related endeavors.

Man gets trespassing notice for telling deli clerk he likes large (chicken) breasts? [Westword]

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