Bottomless female vampire eats old guy’s face outside a closed Hooters
Chris Spags Everyone loves a crazy girl right? Totally! Up until the point they eat your face outside a Hooters. Such is allegedly the case with 22-year-old Josephine Smith.
According to police, Smith attacked 69-year-old Milton Ellis near a vacant Hooters in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Smith allegedly mounted the wheelchair-bound Ellis, biting him in the face and arms while declaring to him, “I am a vampire. I am going to eat you.” [ED. NOTE: Vampires are much more eloquent in books]
When police arrived, they found Smith covered in blood and bottomless near the Hooters. The police report says she was unable to recount what had just happened as well as unable to explain why her pants and underwear were around her ankles.
Smith is currently being held in police custody on a $50,000 bail.
The last I checked, vampires go for the neck, not the face and arms. Zombies go for whatever’s moving but with a special preference for brains. I don’t care how many vaginas you have flopping around (though more than one would be weird), if you’re going to go apeshit on some dude in a motorized wheelchair, horror movie accuracy is a must.
Female “Vampire” Busted In Bloody Biting Attack [The Smoking Gun]
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