Chuck E. Cheese bans “gangsta” things from its Harlem location

Posted by Chris Spags on March 5th, 2010 at 2:00 pm

For some reason, establishments think that putting up a sign is a way of deterring certain undesirable elements of society from coming in, as if a sign has the power of making people reconsider their way of life. The latest attempt comes from a Chuck E. Cheese in Harlem which is banning everything from glass cutters to..towels.

As they enter the arcade and pizza parlor “where a kid can be a kid,” parents and their young children are given a list of prohibitions more stringent than Rikers Island’s.

“No gang-style apparel, including but not limited to hats, shirts, buckles, bandanas, towels,” reads an enormous sign installed last month.

“No gang-type conduct or behavior, including verbal slogans, greetings, hand signs or intimidation. No weapons or tools or any sort whatsoever; including knives, chains, screwdrivers, glass cutters.”

New Yorkers said they could not fathom why Bloods, Crips or Latin Kings would want to wage turf wars in the ball pits.

“It’s ridiculous. I don’t see gangs going into Chuck E. Cheese’s,” said Tish Payne, 28, who yesterday visited the Harlem location with her 1-year-old.

“They probably put the sign up because of the location. It’s adding to the stereotype that Harlem is trying to deviate from.”

Maybe Chuck E. Cheese needs to take a cold, hard look in the mirror. Chuck himself is wearing a colorful flat-brimmed hat with a logo on it, running an arcade that features games which involve kids basically betting on their success. That’s no different than the old mafia-run gambling clubs of the 80s, only with slightly less cocaine and slightly more greasy pizza and urine-soaked pants.

I’m glad they got those gang towels out there, though. Nothing flares up a gang member’s temper quicker than seeing someone wearing a Martha Stewart Home brand towel while he represents the Pottery Barn Towel Krew. Once those two’s eyes meet, there will may very well be a drive-by at the ball pit. Or a discussion of threadcounts. Both are extremely horrific outcomes.

UPDATE: Here’s an image of the sign in question.

Chuck E. squeeze on thugs [NY Post]
Image credit [Riverfront Times]

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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.