7 words that we all need to stop abusing
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7 words that we all need to stop abusing
Okay listen, we need to have a chat. Let’s get a little dialogue going here, because there are some words I think we’ve been abusing to the point that their very meaning is being diluted. No seriously, at this rate future anthropologists will think we were all excitable, overdramatic pre-teens that didn’t have a firm grasp on our own language. And if you think I’m just ranting and raving, well then I have some news for you; you are not only not wrong, but you also may be right.
Photo: greeblie, Flickr -Jason Epstein
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7 Epic
Definition…Heroic; majestic; impressively great.
Example of Improper Usage…”That game of Monopoly Jr. was EPIC, bro!”
From Now On…When I think of something that’s epic, I think of an armor-clad warrior with a flaming sword pointed toward the heavens which just so happen to be pouring sheets of rain and spitting tendrils of blue lightning across the sky, all to a soundtrack of heroic Norwegian death metal. Remember, unless it practically brings a tear to your eye, it’s not epic, bro.
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6 Sexy
Definition…Provoking or intended to provoke sexual interest.
Example of Improper Usage…This article talks about a man who has the “sexiest” version of cerebral palsy. I’m confused, isn’t every type of cerebral palsy sexy? But seriously, best of luck to this man in his life. He’s got a real condition, and calling it “sexy” isn’t doing him any favors.
From Now On…Sexy is in the eye of the beholder.
Here’s a list of things that are sexy:
- Sexy people
- Sex
Here’s a list of things that are not sexy:
- The Kama Sutra Trojan virus
- Zombies
- Technology
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5 Amazing
Definition…Causing sudden wonder or great astonishment.
Example of Improper Usage…That was the most amazing tuna fish sandwich I’ve ever had!
From Now On…Can you think about the last time you were amazed by something, like really amazed? It's awe-inspiring, like something that simultaneously makes your jaw drop and gives you a stiffy junior (aka, a semi). Remember that feeling.
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4 Fail
Definition…To fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.
Example of Improper Usage…Saying FAIL makes you sound like you not only latch onto cultural word fads, but that you think it makes something funnier, rather than describing what the failure is.
From Now On…Instead, try something like “He failed to achieve the 12-inch (around!) boner that the advertisement had described, despite its guarantee.”
Or the next time someone falls down a set of stairs, for example, maybe instead of yelling out “FAIL” you should help them pop their shoulder back into place (a la Lethal Weapon) and cauterize the wound from their bone breaking outward through the skin.
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3 Literally
Definition…Actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy.
Example of Improper Usage…See literally any episode of Parks and Recreation with Rob Lowe as lovable weirdo Chris Traeger.
From Now On…If literally is a word that has to do with a strict sense of reality and you’re telling me that you’re literally having the worst day of your life, I’m not going to believe you unless I’ve never heard you use that word before… and unless you’re telling me this as I’m pulling you from the burning wreckage of a train collision. Then I might believe you.
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2 Reboot
Cultural definition…Starting a process over again.
Example of Improper Usage…When we start talking about rebooting TV shows like Murder She Wrote or Golden Girls that are probably best left alone and when the Spiderman series has a 5 year turn around until they start it all over again, maybe our culture is becoming just a bit too ADD’d out.
From Now On…It’s not so much the definition of this being misused, but rather the fact that it’s getting out of hand. Since when has everything gotten such a “that was so last week” vibe and our culture moved on so quickly from what’s relevant and cool that everything is becoming a reboot of something else? Also, the only reboot I truly believe in is the Saturday morning show.
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1 Um/Like/Other Word Filler
Definition…There’s no real definition for words like these except that they’re often used as expressions of hesitation or doubt and as such, make you seem like you’re let’s say, light on the IQ front.
Example of Improper Usage…Hmm, um, like, well…wait, what was the question?
From Now On…Silence is golden. If you really want you can just squint your eyes and nod your head slowly until a real thought comes to mind.
(Originally published on May 9, 2012.)
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