Cut the shit, tree

I don’t know what to make of this other than the fact that it’s simply horrifying and that nature, quite frankly, is a dick.

I saw the documentary Evil Dead so I learned that trees pretty much just want to f you over at every turn. They say they provide you with air and whatever but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should trust them. You know what else would provide you with air? A homeless guy with CPR skills. But then you end up with an awful taste in your mouth and you end up homeless too. Or am I thinking of zombies. Well, either way, it’d taste like rotting human flesh and poverty, which isn’t good. Unless you’re a cannibal who wants to be thrifty.

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