Drunk lady vs oncoming train

When you’re sober, there is nothing worse than seeing someone completely trashed because, odds are, they’re going to completely wreck your day through some mishap. Typically it involves projectile vomit, but in the case of this Boston woman, it involved falling in front of a speeding train. Does she get turned into delicious goo? You’ll have to watch.

From USA Today’s story on the incident:

The driver of a Boston subway train made an emergency stop only inches short of a woman who had fallen onto the tracks and was stumbling and flailing around, the Associated Press reports.

Charice Lewis, the driver, had been alerted only moments before by a fellow MBTA employee who radioed her from the platform.

The hair-raising incident, with fellow passengers waving frantically on the platform as Lewis pulled the emergency brake, was caught on security cameras.

The woman, whose name was not made public, suffered some scrapes and was taken to a hospital for evaluation after the incident last Friday. She told authorities she had been drinking, the AP says.

I bet the response from authorities was something along the lines of, “Wow, you’ve been drinking! No way! You really hide it well! We just assumed from seeing the video that you were wearing shoes made entirely of butter.”

I bet the people waving at the train felt really good about themselves. But of course it wasn’t their waving arms that would get a train conductor to stop, it was because of a fellow employee radioing her. Without that platform employee radioing the conductor, we’d have one gooey woman spraying blood that takes remarkably like rum and sadness all over onlookers. But the conductor would have totally finished that level of Brickbreaker. So it’s kind of a wash, overall.

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