Elderly man makes fake pills, offers them for sex

Modern society is a bit ageist, assuming that the elderly are helpless or somehow a hindrance to the rest of us. Well, in your face conventions since this old man in Florida was making fake Percocets and trying to trade them for sex.

A 68-year-old man was arrested for manufacturing imitation drugs after a witness alleged that the man traded the drugs for sex, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

A man told police that he recieved (sic) 10 mg Percocet pills from Paul Francis Miller, who had asked him for sex in exchange for the drugs, according to the report. The witness told law enforcement that he was also given imitation pills that were made to look like Percocet.

Miller, who is listed as disabled, told law enforcement that he had never given anyone his prescription meds, but admitted that he made imitation pills in his bathroom, the report said. It took him several tries to make pills that looked legitimate.

Miller said he makes a paste out of aspirin, caffeine tablets, a trace of Tylenol and calcium, according to the report. He sets up an indoor grill in his bathroom and creates a wax mold for the pills.

This is certainly not a “good” crime, but hey, an elderly man listed as disabled decided what he wanted in life and went after it. It’s irrelevant that what he wanted was druggy poontang, he still had a dream and did all he could to make it reality. This man is an American hero.

On the downside, of all the fake drugs you could make in exchange for sex, Percocet seems pretty low down the priority list. You’d pick up more drugged out ladies with a bottle of aspirin, Colt .45, and the “Requiem for a Dream” than that.

Police: man makes fake prescription pills, tries to trade them for sex [NWF Daily News]



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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

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