5 online bachelor degree programs you’d be ashamed of
Greg Voakes
There is an unlimited amount of classes online because there’s no ‘internet capability screening test’ to keep the weirdos and lunatics off the web… which is a good thing. But that means opening the gates to a lot of people who will scam you, fool you, and convince you that you need all sorts of stuff that often doesn’t exist, which is a bad thing. Luckily, someone claiming to provide an online college course on ‘black magic’ or ‘reptilian politicians’ doesn’t have the same credibility — and can’t give the same credits — as a real, certified college. And that’s a good thing, which is followed by another good thing, actually: real online colleges have their share of weird and wacky classes, too. Not all of those online bachelor degree programs in the ‘weird and wacky’ category are something to brag about; in fact, there are some so mundane and ridiculous that you’d be ashamed to tell your friends you took the course in the first place.
5 Funeral Services
Funeral Services is a bachelor degree program you would be ashamed to talk about not because of the nature of the job, but due to other people’s reactions. Not only do you have to put up with weird looks when telling people you work around dead bodies and crying people all the time, but a slew of annoying questions will make you regret ever saying anything at all. ‘Did you ever get any murders?’ ‘Did anyone hot die?’ ‘Is it gross?’ ‘Does it smell?’ Shut up already! You don’t grill them about their borderline taboo knowledge, and examining the person like a specimen. Attending an online bachelor degree program in funeral services might leave you enjoying the company of the dead more than the living.
4 Golf Course and Turfgrass Management
Unless you’re Heidi and Spencer, golf course and turf grass management sounds like the most boring online bachelor degree program ever. If you yearn literally to watch grass grow, deal with old rich people who smell funny and have bad attitudes, and water/mow the lawn, this is definitely for you. All of those things are included. With this online bachelor degree course, you could be a golf course superintendent, or landscape horticulturist. So it’s between watching the lawn and designing the lawn. When telling people of this position, you can expect blank, apathetic stares that wonder why they asked you in the first place before that person wanders off somewhere else. Apparently, the demand for golf course employees is actually predicted to continue increasing. Since the world has so much disposable space left, what better to use it for than a giant, empty lawn?
3 Weather Forecasting
The weather guy is terrible. He’s wrong half the time, but has such an upbeat attitude that you just cant fault him for his mistakes. If you want to be the guy who always sucks but is somehow still very popular, attending an online bachelor degree course in weather forecasting is appropriate. However, don’t expect to move from this to CNN News where you’ll become famous for it. This little side endeavor can earn you 12 college credits, which can then be applied toward a bachelor’s degree in Penn state or another accredited institution. You will be able to predict the weather better, though. It’s also useful for people who like to sail but aren’t trying to die a salty death just yet, and the same goes for pilots. It’s also ideal for those trying to become meteorologists, but a person taking this for shits and giggles probably wont want to brag to their friends about it. When remembering the blast and total party that was at college, an online bachelor degree course in weather forecasting doesn’t exactly stand out.
2 Weed Management and Control
Not, like, that kind of weed, maaan. Colorado State University Online offers this bachelor degree course in weed management and control for those working in animal science, land management or just plain homeowners. The course will teach you successfully how to identify weeds, understand plant classification and life cycles, learn about harmful plants, proper herbicide use, and “understand why invasive weeds are important.” The college recognizes the amount of homeowners who are “going green,” and this course can be pretty useful to just about anyone. However, the name itself is boring and embarrassing enough so you never mention it to anyone. The first few times you try to admit it and are met with mocking laughter, you’ll call it quits and keep this skeleton in the closet.
1 Anything From Flamel College
Everyone goes through rough patches in life, when things seem dreary or interests turn to things we later look at and say, “WTF?” Flamel College is one of them. The entire college is for people having a quarter life crisis and playing WoW or Skyrim 10-14 hours a day. Aromatherapy, Yoga Class Online, Ancient Wisdom, Tarot Consultation Certification, Wizard Apprenticeship for Young People, UFO Investigator Certification, Parapsychologist Certification, and Alchemy are all wonderful online bachelor degree courses offered by this college. The only thing is, there are no actual degrees involved. It’s just a bizarro Geocities site that offers certifications which are valid, how exactly? Not sure about that one. If you aren’t entirely convinced that this school is for sad white people living in their mothers’ basements, check out the pictures of people who attended the International Alchemy Conference. Try not to remind them that while dress up is a lot of fun, Harry Potter isn’t real.
Flamel College wins the competition for most shameful online bachelor degree programs on this list, but the other ones are up there — and will most likely be avoided.
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