Employee training videos will make you want to never work again

Have you ever done a job for a generic corporation in some sort of customer service-ish position? Then you’re probably familiar with the beast that is the corporate training video. Fortunately, a brave company called Media Partners is trying to make those training videos more relatable to the kids. But how? Through the power of mediocre hip-hop as performed by workers just like you!

I really hope you spent the time watching that. Mostly because I feel like we need to support the endeavors of Queen Latifah impressionists in what’s most likely not the most profitable career path.

The key takeaway I got from the video? That many famous people had to do completely crappy jobs, just like the one you’re about to do. When your big message is, “Hey, other people did the same crappy job you’re going to have to come into every day and they made it out alive, mostly because they were more talented than you are” it might be hard to build enthusiasm for the bitch work you’re about to undertake. Call me crazy, but the fact that Brad Pitt once wore a chicken suit doesn’t make me any more likely to get oil and vinegar on a Subway footlong with less of a hole in my soul. It may give me more masturbation material, but no sir, it definitely won’t fix that hole.

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