Family promises new Macbook Pro to son for not being gay

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If you’re to believe this Craigslist posting, one family is taking the power of the new Macbook Pro to a new and confusing conclusion: Rewarding their son for not being gay?

Craigslist

The text, courtesy of Buzzfeed, is below.

I am selling my son’s macbook pro 15 inch. He found out that there is going to be a new macbook so I will be buying that for him. I bought it last summer so it isn’t even a year old yet. It is on pretty decent shape. I am pretty firm on the price.

Just a footnote, I don’t want to get a ton of messages from you guys saying that I am spoiling my son and turning him into an entitled monster. There is a backstory that you aren’t even aware of. My son was committing homosexual acts and got caught in the act. We made a deal that if he chose to be straight, that we would buy him more nice things. So don’t message me saying that I am a bad parent for spoiling him. It’s quite the opposite, I am a good parent and I’m working with him to correct his problem.

I’d have to imagine you’re pretty conflicted right now if you’re a gay guy looking for a good deal on a Macbook Pro but, rest assured, this is a pretty awful thing to do to a teen.

That said, if anything will get this young man back on the path he really wants, it’s the Retina Display on that new Macbook Pro. Nothing will turn a man to his true sexual orientation faster than super hi-res representations of the genitals of his undesired gender. Yay technology!