Fat people versus gravity is not a winning battle

Oh I’m just having one of those days in which the only thing that could brighten my day is the humorous pain of others (or, as I like to call it, every single day of my life). Fortunately, someone was kind enough to put together a compilation of fat people losing battles versus gravity. That’ll do, Internet. That’ll do.

I think it’s kind of funny when people say that they want to cure obesity in America. It’s never going to happen. Yes, it’d help out insurance providers by having not to deal with the various illnesses that come along with being obese. But at the same time, not only would these people then be living longer, they’d also be cutting into the profits of all the companies who make bucketloads of money off of the impulsive eating of the gastropod section of society, singlehandedly ruining the economy all because a bunch of hefty people decided to finally eat salads. You think Joe, the Guy Who Fries Oreos at County Fairs, is going to survive if the war against obesity is won? Poor Joe has already had such a terrible life that he’s deep frying a food that’s already seven shades of diabetic and his “office” consists of a probable-pederast clown whom you can knock into the water with an accurately thrown ball, do you have to take his Oreo monies away from him too?

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