Hire a real thug

There is literally not a single thing you can’t find somewhere on Craigslist. For further proof, take a look at this New Jersey Craigslist ad in which you, Joe Normal, can hire a “Real Thug” to educate your kids.

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I like how the thug gentleman doesn’t name a price. The odds of you leaving with your house robbed and your child still not fixed seem unavoidably high.

So, is being a real thug a skilled service? I mean I guess there’s a certain art form to hustling, but I don’t think what the thug is offering is actually skilled. Making crazy eyes and going, “You don’t know what it’s like YOU LITTLE BITCH” then smacking a wall seems like something anyone with a regional theatre background could do. I don’t think you actually need experience shanking someone to scare a wannabe thug kid in the white area of Williamstown, New Jersey. You could probably just show him a flash card of a black guy in a doorag and he’d be horrified. They know black people there like you know yetis.

[Craigslist via Reddit]

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