Hot new terrorist trend: Breast implant bombers
Chris Spags After the Christmas Underwear Bomber, I thought we couldn’t really get much further down the “private parts potentially exploding” food chain. Welp, scratch that…a new report from Britain’s intelligence division says there might be a wave of breast implant bombers coming.
Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.
Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.
“Properly inserted the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines. You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray. Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner.”
So at first blush, it seems like this is a real advancement for Middle Eastern women, finally rising to some modicum of responsibility and breaking through the terrorism glass ceiling. But then again, when you realize that women are often beaten with sticks or stoned to death in the middle of town square for showing some of their delicious ankles to a stranger by mistake, it doesn’t seem like much of an upward movement to graduate to having a boob blown off after eating a freeze-dried chicken and stuffing dish that tastes like an uncooked aborted fetus. But hey, it’s something, right?
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