How do you say “I crapped myself” in Russian?

This video is all the rage in Russia, much like stale vodka, governmentally supplied bread, and inspirational messages from punchdrunk American boxers with a speech impediment. What you’re about to witness is the luckiest unlucky guy in the world.

It’s always amazing to me the way that the human body responds to adversity, like old ladies lifting up cars to save babies and babies throwing cars to kill old ladies. This dude clearly hit a gear that he didn’t know he had to avoid that bus. He might have been the fastest man in the world in this particular moment. He probably could have beaten Usain Bolt in a race. You know, if Russia allowed black people.

[As seen on Fark]

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