Male nurse claims he “accidentally” sexually assaulted old woman

There are many things you can do accidentally, like slipping on a banana peel or oversleeping. But if we were playing “Family Feud,” here’s one thing that would finish outside the top five: “Accidentally” sexually assaulting an elderly woman in an assisted living facility for Alzheimer’s patients.

Prosecutors have charged a caretaker who claims he accidentally raped an elderly resident at the nursing home where he works.

Douglas McGregor, 35, has been charged with second-degree rape in an incident that occurred at the Weatherly Inn at Lake Meridian, an assisted living facility for Alzheimer’s patients.

The alleged rape took place last week when an employee heard the 71-year-old woman crying in her room, according to Kent police. The employee opened the door and found McGregor standing over the woman with his genitals exposed.

When questioned by detectives, McGregor claimed his sexual contact with the victim was accidental after she broke the button on his pants, exposing him.

That definitely sounds like the best possible excuse you could come up with if you were accused of a crime this horrific, but it seems like there’s some details missing. I know old people with Alzheimer’s aren’t necessarily the most stable sector of people around, but I don’t think they start crying after breaking the button on your pants and showing the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder just because they saw your johnson flopping about.

Well, if these allegations turn out to be correct, I’m sure this gentleman will find himself in a similar situation in prison as large fellows with neck tattoos showing him an accidental good time in the shower. Finally, man-on-man shower rape I can really get behind. Figuratively.

Police: Caretaker claims he accidentally raped elderly woman [KOMO]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: