Man arrested for ejaculating into female co-worker’s water bottles

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

There are some crimes I really struggle to wrap my head around and, fortunately, this is one of them: An Orange County man is accused of ejaculating into a female co-worker’s water bottle. On two different occasions. I was wondering why my water tasted of bleach and shame.

fappy mccreepington 309x167 Man arrested for ejaculating into female co workers water bottles

Do not let this man near your sexy beverages. Or toaster strudel, just to be safe.

Michael Lallana, a 31-year-old man, is charged with two misdemeanor counts of releasing an offensive material in a public place as well as two counts of committing a crime for sexual gratification.

Police say that Lallana went into the victim’s office and came into a water bottle on his co-worker’s desk in January of this year. The victim then return to her desk and drank it, unaware of the new liquids within. She threw the bottle away after feeling sick.

In April, Lallana struck again with another round of fapping into the same victim’s water bottle.

After feeling sick again, she decided to sent this water bottle to a lab to be tested. The lab told her it contained semen; DNA tests would later confirm that the jizz was Lallana’s.

So let this be a lesson to all you would-be-water-bottle-fappers out there…if you’re going to ejaculate in a co-worker’s bottle, only do it once because the second time, they’ll totally catch you. Or, even better, avoid doing it at all. Preferably the latter but, you know, worst case scenario, make sure to heed the former.

Man Arrested for Putting Semen in Co-Worker’s Water Bottle [KTLA]

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