Man attempts robbery of gas station with fork

Crime is never easy. You’ve got the moral decision to make about robbing someone and also a surprisingly large amount of preparation if you’re doing it right. Then, on the other side, there’s a guy who attempts to rob a gas station with a fork and walks away with nothing but a pack of cigarettes. Worthwhile!

Police reported a bizarre gas station robbery in Westmoreland County Tuesday night.

According to police, Gino Conti, 31, walked into the Shell gas station on Route 30 in Hempfield Township and asked for a box of cigarettes.

When the clerk turned around, police said Conti pulled out a fork and demanded money.

Police said there was no money in the cash register, so Conti grabbed the cigarettes and left.

This might be the worst robbery to ever take place. It’s not that he tried to hold up the place and walk away with nothing, but rather the fact that he robbed a crappy gas station in Pittsburgh, tried to use a fork, and got a crappy pack of menthols to show for it. The only way to take part in a worse robbery is to attempt to rob a homeless man with a loaf of bred, only for him to beat you to death, steal your bread, and shoot you up with a needle caked in Magic Johnson blood. Which are really skills that you’d think would help him in the working world, but that’s the problem..fictional homeless guy really doesn’t do enough to apply himself unless he absolutely has to. Wasted potential.

[WPXI]

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