Man claims to be a ninja, gets impaled on a fence

Ninjas are known to be as graceful and elegant as they are violent. When emboldened with ninja capabilities, even a turtle can become speedy and acrobatic. But sometimes a ninja can fail too, like this guy who found himself impaled on a fence, begging for help, while pretending to be a ninja.

Move over Shinobi, a new ninja has invaded my sexual fantasies.

At 11:15 last night, a police officer was looking for the victim of a reported assault in the 600 block of Seventh Avenue when she encountered the man impaled on a metal fence and screaming for help. Seattle Fire Department medics were called and removed the man from a fence spike and transported him to nearby Harborview Medical Center.

Officers, believing the man might have been involved in the assault, spoke with him at the hospital. The man said he was not involved. Instead, he said he thought he was a ninja and would be able to leap over the 4- to 5-foot fence.

As a police account of the incident notes, “Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities.”

See kids? Regardless of how the liberal ninja media portrays the glamour and fun of getting to run around in your pajamas with a sword with your face hidden like an Arab woman, you can get seriously hurt and shamed in public (ironically also like an Arab woman).

This guy should know that being a ninja isn’t a superpower. In fact, it’s probably a miserable couple of decades having to learn how to be a ninja with stuff like getting beaten with sticks and having to do hours of stretching a day and ninja arts and crafts. Lots of hard work and dedication go into being a master of the ninja arts. Well, unless you’re Asian. Then you can vault over a fence and solve a linear algebra problem at the same time. I don’t know why you’d elect do to algebra at such a potentially stressful time, but then again, I’m not one of the chosen few.

[Seattle Times]

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