In theory, this story is not funny at all…creepy 17 year-old guy lures girls to his house then threatens to shoot them with a nail gun if they don’t play a version of “spin the bottle” with him which involves stripping. But well, you’ll see why it’s hilarious.

A young man lured two nine-year-old girls into a cubby house with the promise of chocolate cake before making them play ‘spin the bottle’, a court has heard.
Ipswich District Court was told the young man, who was about 17 at the time, threatened he would shoot the girls with a nail gun if they did not play the game, which involved removing pieces of clothing.
The man, who is now 19 years old, pleaded not guilty to two charges of indecent treatment of a child aged under 12 but was found guilty by a jury yesterday.
Crown Prosecutor Sal Vasta said the man asked his neighbour’s daughter and her two friends if they wanted to play at the house he shares with his grandmother in Lockrose, west of Lowood.
“He said he had some chocolate cake back at his place,” he said.
”They did go into the house … but there was no chocolate cake.”
Well, that makes sense. Sure, we could be outraged about him playing Spin the Bottle with prepubescent girls. But the real travesty is not having the cake. He violated a verbal agreement between himself and the 9 year-olds. Not only are you a pariah by being a child diddler, but when you don’t actually provide the children with the promised sweets (or Pokemon cards, where applicable), perhaps more importantly, you’re a terrible host. Didn’t his mother teach him proper etiquette for when you lure young girls into creepy sex games? I feel like Miss Manners might want to delve into this topic.









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