Man punches girlfriend in face for not waking him up in time for…

Some people have a hard time getting up in the morning and require the help of others, understandable. But you may want to keep that temper under control if the person forgets to wake you up, like this Tampa area man who allegedly punched his girlfriend in the face after she didn’t wake him up in time for, wait for it, turning himself in for domestic violence charges.

On Thursday morning, authorities say, [Drexel] Green was supposed to meet his bail bondsman to turn himself in on a warrant for violating his probation for domestic violence. His girlfriend — whom deputies say he attacked in December — didn’t wake him up in time Thursday, so he punched her in the face, according to the Pasco Sheriff’s Office.

Green, a 27-year-old unemployed man, then held his girlfriend on the ground and forced her into her own car, a report states. Green dumped his 26-year-old girlfriend at his friend’s house and took her car to see the bondsman, leaving his girlfriend stranded with a bleeding, swollen mouth, authorities say. Green denied the attack while interviewed in jail, the report states.

Well, on the plus side, he may very well be going to jail for a very long time on multiple domestic violence charges, so at least he got that one last punch in. It’s like being on death row and getting a last meal, only if your last meal was being an abusive d-ck. Perhaps not as tasty as chicken wings and corn fritters, but taste is a uniquely individual thing.

Aside, is there any absurd crime that doesn’t happen in Florida? It’s like whatever higher power you believe in is using the state as his own personal open mic, trying outlandish new material and seeing what sticks.

Man punched girlfriend for not waking him up in time, Pasco sheriff says [TampaBay.com]

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