Men fake orgasms? What?

There’s an alarming trend bubbling under the surface…typically the rule has been that men quickly finish during sex, women get disappointed and/or fake it, and the entire movie audience laughs at men and their inability to sexually satisfy a lady. But new-ish research says that a large percentage of men (about 11%) are faking orgasms. So…what now, society?

If you thought that only women faked orgasms, you’d be wrong. Plenty of men fake their way out of the sack. How on earth can a guy even fake an orgasm? What is he going to do, spray dish detergent and try to pass it off as semen? More importantly, why would a man want to pull off this kind of bluff?

Apparently, lots of men fake the Big “O” and some were willing to talk to me about it. I asked men in an online sex forum how many had faked orgasms, and I received some very fascinating – and distressing — answers. Steve found himself in an awkward position when he bedded a woman to whom he was not very attracted, but he felt the pressure to perform. “I wasn’t able to manage to keep it up for long because I really, really wasn’t enjoying myself,” he wrote. “So as I realized that I was going to be a limp noodle at any moment anyway, I pretended to cum then quickly disposed of the condom. Definitely not one of my prouder moments.” Alex expressed similar sentiments when he admitted his reasons and method for faking. ” … there were a variety of reasons. Most commonly, it was just pure boredom and my attention span with someone had ceased or a very determined girl that wouldn’t accept the fact that I just wasn’t going to get off at that moment in time.”

Chris admitted that exhaustion was his reason for faking it. “To be fair, I think each time it was at least the third fuck of the day,” he wrote. “And it was nice at first, but after a while I just wanted it over with. I wouldn’t dream of doing that now though.”

You can read the full article with more anecdotes like that one here.

I don’t think I’ve ever faked an orgasm, that I can recall. There’s been a time or two where I tried to finish it off and just couldn’t, usually due to drunkenness or being sick of the girl. But at that point I think you just go, “Hey, nothing’s coming.” Putting on a big theatrical show like King Claudius getting his comeuppance from Hamlet to pretend like you’re getting off just seems silly. And how can you do that when you’re not wearing protection? I don’t exactly carry around frosting to splash on a girl’s face. Usually.

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