Missouri bans alcohol, nudity at strip clubs

If you were planning a trip to Missouri this summer, bad news. Well, first, you should really set your goals higher in life. And second, if you were planning on taking in a local gentlemen’s club, be warned, a new law says that women are no longer allowed to be nude and alcohol will no longer be served at Missouri-area strip clubs.

According to STL Today:

Missouri’s strip clubs will have more clothing, reduced hours and no alcohol after Aug. 28 under a bill signed Friday by Gov. Jay Nixon.

A group of adult entertainment business owners has vowed to sue to stop the new law, much as they did in 2005, when a similar law was overturned in court as an unconstitutional infringement of free speech.

“I’m very disappointed in the governor’s decision,” said Mike Ocello, president of VGA Holding Corp., which owns several adult entertainment businesses throughout the country.

“I’m upset about the impact this will have on the state’s economy,” Ocello said. “Jobs will be lost.”

The new law — which was sponsored by Sen. Matt Bartle, R-Independence — would prohibit full nudity at strip clubs and prohibit such establishments from selling alcohol. Adult businesses — including adult bookstores and strip clubs — could not be located within 1,000 feet of a school, church or public park. Such businesses would have to close at midnight, and nobody younger than 18 would be allowed.

No offense to the fine people of Missouri, but I’m not sure this is such a grand idea. You have an arch and a beer brewing company there and that’s wonderful. But in terms of being an artistic capital of the world, there may be a bit left to be desired. Unless you consider gang gunfire and overt racism to be art forms.

Plus, why would you go to a strip club if there’s no nudity or alcohol? If I wanted to drink a Diet Coke and watch girls in bikinis, I’d have never quit my job lifeguarding for middle schoolers. Well, I guess it wasn’t a job so much as it was a lifestyle choice. But either way, I think we can all agree binoculars aren’t cutting it.

No booze, no nudity at Missouri strip clubs [STL Today]

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