To Remind You How Great Your Mom Is For Mother’s Day, Here Are 8 Of The Worst Moms In The History Of Ever

Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and while everyone else is busy talking about how moms are great, blah, blah, blah, I thought I’d go in a… different direction.

Yes, while I’m sure your mother is great and the best mom ever because she knew how to make the meatloaf just the way you liked, it’s important to remember the moms who, uh, weren’t so great. These are the moms who would stab you if you complained about the meatloaf.

At the very least, these tales of woe and misery should make you appreciate your own mother even more, because whatever her flaws, at least she isn’t one of these monsters, who are truly eight of the worst mothers ever.

Elizabeth Butchill

The young Miss Butchill gave birth to a healthy baby girl in 1780 while working as a college bed maker, whatever the hell that is, at Trinity College in England. Unfortunately, she wasn’t married and so she did the only thing she could: she flushed the baby down the toilet, where it fractured its skull and died.

Okay, so she didn’t exactly flush it, since it was more just a big hole then one of them there fancy terlets, but, still, she dumped her child into a literal shithole. Seriously, that was the child’s one and only memory of this world. Born, and then tossed into a pile of shit by dear old Mom. A heartwarming story for the holiday.

China P. Arnold

On September 8, 2008, China P. Arnold was convicted of killing her 28 day old daughter, Paris, which is sad, but it happens and it certainly isn’t enough all on its own to get her on this illustrious list. But wait! It turns out that Miss Arnold cooked her baby in a microwave. Yeah, that will do it.

Apparently, China got into an argument with the baby-daddy over whether or not he was, in fact, the baby’s daddy. In the course of said argument, she did the only reasonable thing and put the baby in the microwave and hit the juice, as one does.

Amazingly, after two minutes in the microwave, baby Paris was still alive and so she took it to the hospital (the next day, because I guess she wasn’t a shitty enough mother already) where it died, presumably in agonizing pain. The official cause of death, according to the Medical Examiner? “She was cooked.” Jesus Christ.

Diane O’Dell

Diane O’Dell was found guilty of second-degree murder when the bodies of her three children were found in a storage shed. She actually had twelve children, but killed these three because they were illegitimate… and then put their corpses in storage for over a decade.

What makes this story even crazier is that she apparently traveled regularly with the baby corpses, and was only caught when she stopped paying the bills on her storage shed, which caused the landlord to open it up and make the discovery of a lifetime. Somewhere, the producers of Storage Wars are kicking themselves for not getting there first.

Mitchelle Blair

This was just in the news. You might know Miss Blair better as the Detroit woman who killed her kids and then kept their bodies in the freezer. Yeah.

There’s more to the story, though. Apparently, Mitchelle killed her son and her daughter because they were “demons” unlike the rest of her kids, who I guess she was cool with. She also claims to not regret any of it, which is some cold shit, even though she says killing her son was an accident. She totally killed the daughter on purpose though. She made sure to note that.

The “accidental” killing of the boy doesn’t sound so accidental when you consider that she punched him, kicked him, made him drink Windex (!), burned his dick with hot water, hanged him with a belt and then suffocated him with a bag tied around his head. That’s some accident.

When asked what his injuries were, Miss Blair simply told the court “His skin came off.” I’m guessing her surviving kids never back-talked Mama or tried to stay out past curfew. Or tried to raid the freezer.

Lois Jurgens

Lois Jurgens adopted a total of six kids in the 1960s, and apparently savagely abused them all, killing one, a three-year old boy named Dennis, in 1965.

The case became famous because she was only caught when the boy’s birth mother decided to go looking for him and became convinced that he died due to abuse, which just highlights how vulnerable adoptees really are, and that’s why Lois Jurgens is on this list.

She basically adopted children just so she could abuse them. How fucked up is that? There is a special place in hell for that kind of shit. That’s super-predator kind of stuff. I mean, there’s a critical difference between losing your shit because you can’t handle having a kid and deliberately and dispassionately adopting kids just so you can be as evil as possible. Monstrous.

Lianne Smith

Lianne Smith, a British woman, killed her baby son and her five year old daughter in a Spanish hotel room because her boyfriend was busted for being a kiddy-diddler. Her rationale (if you can call it that) was that she was afraid the kids would be taken away by protective services, so she… killed them? I don’t get it either.

What makes her and this case particularly horrifying is that she apparently knew that the dude was a pedo and fled to Spain with him and the kids when his degeneracy came to light, exposing her kids to a child-rapist and then killing them when he was finally caught, which begs all sorts of horrifying questions, right?
Anyway, she went to jail, and so did the boyfriend, who hanged himself in prison, so I guess the story has a happy ending? No?

Theresa Knorr

Look, I can’t even fit all the horrors perpetrated by Theresa Knorr into a single article. Basically, she tortured all of her six kids and killed two of them. Some of the “highlights” of said abuse include burning them with cigarettes, throwing knives at them and making them hold each other down while she abused them. Christ.

She disconnected the phone so they couldn’t call for help and forced them to live in a tiny apartment that neighbors said smelled like piss and garbage, and was particularly fond of torturing her two daughters, who she later killed. She even believed that her fourth husband turned one of her daughters into a witch, which would be some funny shit if she didn’t, you know, torture her and then murder her because of it.

Anyway, Theresa Knorr is a horrible beast of a woman, and her existence on Earth calls into question the existence of a just and loving god. Happy Mother’s Day!

Carla Lockwood

Little Nadine Lockwood, five years old, died on August 31, 1996. She was starved to death by her mother, Carla, because Carla “hated” the little girl.

There are more horrifying things on this list – at least on the surface. But Carla Lockwood took her little baby girl and kept her locked in a dark room for the five years she was on this earth, starving her, and keeping her in a perpetual state of hunger and misery, until the girl died, never having known a moment’s happiness. It doesn’t get more horrifying than that.

Look, I knew this would get dark, but this is absurd. Call your mom and tell you that you love her, everyone.

Scared baby image by Shutterstock