Mother helps son kidnap his ex-girlfriend

They say in life that, in a healthy family, there’s no bond greater than that between a mother and her son. But here’s some evidence that the bond may also exist in completely bat sh-t insane families as well: A mother in Houston is accused of helping her 21-year-old son kidnap his girlfriend. We are familyyyyyy.

Police are looking for a man whose mother is accused of helping him kidnap his ex-girlfriend in front of a southeast Houston grocery store on Saturday, authorities said.

Investigators said that around noon Elizabeth Salazar, 19, met her ex-boyfriend’s mother, Dora Perez, 41, outside Fiesta Mart, at 1600 Spencer, to discuss two children Salazar shares with Perez’s son.

When Salazar approached the SUV that Perez was driving, Salazar’s former boyfriend, 21-year-old Samuel Deleon, allegedly got out of the rear seat of the vehicle, assaulted Salazar in the parking lot, then forced her into the SUV, authorities said.

Salazar told officers she escaped from the apartment on Cherrybrook after Deleon went to the restroom and ran about a mile down the road to her sister’s residence. She added that when officers arrived at the residence earlier, Deleon held her down and placed his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet until they left the scene, authorities said.

I’m all in favor of parents doing what they can to help their child succeed in life, but I’d imagine typically that would not include assisting in the kidnapping his little lady friend. I mean, unless your son were in grade school. Kidnapping then would be so easy, how could you not do it? No room for laziness if you want to be a great mother.

But still, what a terrible kidnapping. If you’re going to go through all the effort and legal wranglings of kidnapping charges, why would you leave your kidnapee untied and capable of escaping when you go to the bathroom? That’s just dumb. You’re never going to make it in the kidnapping industry, Mr. Deleon. The only way you could have been a less effective kidnapper is if you stole her and brought her back to your castle while you just hung out on a bridge above a lava pit with a switch right behind you that a little Italian man could easily destroy.

Police seek man accused in ex’s kidnapping [Houston Chronicle]



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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

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