Internet Digs Up Shocking ‘Osmosis Jones’ Clip Featuring Kid Rock Singing: ‘Some Say It’s Statutory But I Say It’s Mandatory’

In case you weren’t already convinced that the early 2000s were basically a pop cultural acid trip — just Google some red carpet photos from the MTV Movie Awards from that era and you’ll see what I’m talking about — I present to you this truly stunning clip from the 2001 animated film Osmosis Jones.

Released in 2001, Osmosis Jones — which was directed by the Farrelly brothers — features Chris Rock as a white blood cell defending his human host from a deadly virus played by Laurence Fishburne. Strange, I know, but trust me when I say we aren’t even at the most shocking part yet.

Internet unearths shocking Osmosis Jones clip that features Kid Rock singing about statutory rape

At one part in the film, a character named Kidney Rock — played, of course, by then-rockstar Kid Rock — appears in a nightclub (?) to sing a song titled “Cool, Daddy Cool”. Weird enough in and of itself, the song’s lyrics take this story from quirky to legitimately offensive, as Kid Rock sings:

“Young ladies, young ladies, I like ’em underage see
Some say that’s statutory, But I say it’s MANDATORY!

As it turns out, this is not some sort of Mandela Effect, either, as the song is not only real but it has a title — “Cool, Daddy Cool” — and is complete with extensive lyrics, which you can find below:

See me cruisin’ in my caddy
Ho’s they like to call me “Daddy Cool”
When I’m stylin’
Just rollin on the island

Now just in case I pack heat
Keep a case of brew in my back seat
Got a pocket full of cash hey
Got a fatty in my ashtray

I’m Cool (Daddy Cool)
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)
I’m Cool (Daddy Cool)
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)

Mackin’ to this phat beat
Bass pushin’ through my back seat
You know I got that gangsta lean
Ho’s they all adore me

I stop and they all swarm me
To check out all my fly gold rings
The treat my like the mayor
Cause I’m the biggest player

(Joe C) Mackin’ all honeys up here in the “D” baby (Kid Rock) You know I do
Grubbin’ on some pork rinds
Kickin’ out them sex rhymes
Everybody wants to be my friend
But I can’t be your friend no
Unless you got some endo to smoke

(Joe C.) I ain’t no joke
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)
I’m Cool (Daddy Cool)
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)
I’m Cool (yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Cool)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Cool)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Cool)
(Bad Ass)

I like the way you profile
Them posey’s they got style
Daddy can I roll with you?
Here’s some money for your gas tank
A forty and fat-tay

Daddy, so I’m down with you
Now some people say my mind’s blown
I’m coolin’ like a snow cone
On my cell phone
I’m paid, G
Can’t call me
Just page me

Young ladies, young ladies
I like ’em underage see
Some say that’s statutory
(Joe C.) But I say it’s MANDATORY!

My story ain’t that complex
Two forties and a Rolex
I rip, I rock, I roll G
I trim my hair with the Flowbee
Got soul G
Like Al Green
Co-coolin’ like the A-Team

From Maine to San Francisco
I’m shootin like a pistol
I’m so slick, I’m Crisco
Daddy likes to disco
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)
I’m Cool (Daddy Cool)
Call Me Cool (Daddy Cool)
I’m Cool (oooohh, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Cool)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Co-hoo-hoo-ool)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy Cool)
(Bad Ass) (Daddy, Daddy Cool, yeah)

The early 2000s — they were weird. Kid Rock — he remains weird. Maybe next time Chris Rock hosts an award show, someone can ask him about this instead of The Slap.