Police: Finger in the butt results in a knife fight

Dallas police say a woman rubbing her finger along her female friend’s butt crack set off a chain of events leading to a stand-off with a knife. I can’t think of two things more unpleasant than an unexpected finger in your butt crack and a stabbing, so it almost seems fitting that these two things would happen in conjunction.

According to police, the suspect rubbed her finger along the victim’s butt crack, leading her to clench her butt cheeks in response. The clenching and subsequent movement led the bed she was sitting on to break, which made the suspect/butt fingerer angry.

A fight then broke out between the two, which resulted in the victim/butt fingeree brandishing a large butcher knife and threatening to kill the suspect.

The suspect allegedly responded by asking her presumably-former friend, “Are you ready to die?,” prompting the victim to call police. The suspect left the house when police were called.

Having tried similar tactics on ex-girlfriends, I can support the postulate that yes, unwanted fingers in the derriere region tend to lead to nothing but problems. But even worse is when you go for it and they offer no resistance. Because then you know they’ve got a lot of experience there and probably wouldn’t mind you getting in there as if they were Kermit the Frog about to sing “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.” A lady like that tends to not be a keeper, efficient in the bathroom though she may be.

Finger in Butt Crack Sparks Knife Fight [My Fox DFW]

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