Police lose cocaine, hijinks ensue perhaps
Chris Spags A bunch of cocaine went missing down in Naples, Florida after a drug bust. The police have no idea where it went. But read this story and there may be a clue or two. Let it never be said I’m not thought-provoking.
This is what a dog on cocaine might look like. The sunglasses aren’t to hide his drug use, he just thinks they’re a good accessory.
[S]ome lucky guest may have found an unexpected gift inside a Naples hotel room last spring — a package of cocaine — thanks to the Naples police department, no less.
Two veteran Naples police officers lost a packet of cocaine during a training exercise last spring, according to a recently released internal affairs investigation. The cocaine was believed to have been left in a local Best Western hotel room.
“It was looked at as strictly an honest mistake by two hardworking police officers,” Naples police spokesman Michael Herman said.
Both officers suspect the cocaine was left inside the hotel room on April 29, because their routine was disrupted that day when Lines, who usually handles the narcotics, was called out to a scene, reports said. Ankenbauer ended up hiding the cocaine instead.
When Lines returned to resume the training, both officers’ dogs were “lively” — leaping on the bed, biting pillows, knocking down pictures on the wall — and had to be secured to avoid damaging the room, reports said. They decided to conclude the training session early.
Well, there’s only one way for this story to end. The police dogs need to face judgment for their completely inexcusable actions. Ideally by getting investigated by an Internal Affairs police dog who doesn’t seem to totally buy their story. Then one of the police dogs, Scraps, goes to the Internal Affairs dog and tells him that he couldn’t possibly understand what life is like out there on the beat since he just sits behind his little desk and tries to take down good cops. Meanwhile, the other dog, Sergeant Buttons (he rose through the ranks with backhanded politics and gratuitous butt sniffing) attempts to get Internal Affairs dog fired. But Internal Affairs dog saves Sergeant Buttons’ ninth son, Buttons Jr. from a tragic peanut butter-related accident, so Sergeant Buttons finally respects Internal Affairs dog and turns himself in. Scraps unfortunately kills himself, so Internal Affairs dog decides not to damage Scraps’ good name and makes it look like it was part of a crime. It was the first time he turned a blind eye and Internal Affairs dog learned a little something about what it means to truly be a part of the force.
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