Rabbi jailed for his claims of magical jizz, charging women for sex

A former Israeli Defense Ministry is accused of a lot of bad things, primary among them being charging women for access to his semen and claiming it has the power to heal their body and soul. So, yes, you’re reading that correctly; he was paid by women to skeet upon them under the guise that it would heal them. Not a good thing to do, but it’s a decent business model.

According to a report in Israel’s YNetNews:

Nissim Aharon, a former Defense Ministry employee convicted of severe sexual offenses, was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment by the Petah Tikva District Court as part of a plea bargain.

Aharon was convicted of rape, sodomy, indecent acts, aggravated fraudulent acquisition, making threats, forgery, using a forged document, and attempted disruption of legal proceedings.

[H]e would tell women that his semen is a holy liquid, and whoever comes in physical contact with him will be healed in body and soul. He even went as far as to say that it is a religious commandment to touch the body of “Rabbi Nissim Aharon.” He claimed that his holiness is transferred to others via physical contact and that it purifies them.

I’m not going to imply that Aharon is a good guy or anything but I can’t help but feel that maybe he’s not as bad of a guy as this conviction would lead you to believe. The real problem is just that he wasn’t ejaculating onto himself enough. He could have used some of that magical purifying bleachiness to make things better for himself. All I’m saying is that if you’re going to buy into the hype that you have magical jizz, you might as well pop some of that into your face like a guy catching Cheetos out of midair.

Personally, I’m curious as to what happened to the women afterwards. Even though this guy obviously did a horrible thing to them, there must have been some positive word of mouth for his services, so clearly these women did think they were being “healed.” I can’t imagine you’d blindly go into this guy’s claims otherwise. Was it something like, “Oh, I was bleeding profusely from that car accident but BAM! Jizz! And I was healed,” because if so, that’s a pretty big case for mind (and seminal fluid) over matter.

‘Saint with pure semen’ imprisoned [YNetNews]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: