Roanoke seems like a great place to raise a child

Pregnancy is difficult on everyone involved; the mom for being all bloated and having a living thing inside of her, the dad for having to put up with her and/or having to find a way to gracefully run away and the baby for having to put up with jackhammers and, uh, other stuff.

Well, in the mom’s defense, the jackhammers might be a pretty big concern and you can only fight one battle at once. She’s so busy fighting the man that she hasn’t had time to kick her smoking habit. But don’t worry, she’ll totally stop once the baby comes out. It’ll be much less stressful for her to quit then. Plus she can really only afford for one member of the family to be smoking and the baby’s going to need menthols to grow up strong. That’s what parenting is about, folks: Sacrifice.

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