Rollerskating religious robots give the best advice

You really have to salute the folks over at Everything Is Terrible for reminding us on a regular basis that, in fact, everything is quite terrible. Like this video from the early 90s, I’d guess, of a kid talking about his skateboard until a robot interrupts him to play music and discuss the word of God. No, you’re not high.

I’ll admit, if I were a child in a similar situation, I’d be skeptical too. What exactly does a talking robot on rollerblades know about my problems? Just because you have a keyboard where your hydraulic robot penis should be doesn’t mean you know better than me, buddy. It just means you were given all of the powers of a robot with none of the perks.

I’d also be kind of creeped out if a Jesus freak robot showed up at a church I attended. Not sure why, but I don’t know if I’d want a robot believing in the same God I do. Not to be a robo-semite, but I think he should be worshiping a rudimentary abacus or an old Atari.

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: