Shocking: Alcoholic nymphomaniacs have problems

After a domestic dispute between a woman and her husband, she reacted logically. Coolly, calmly, and rationally, she drunkenly threw a pocketknife at his head and then told the police to arrest her “because [she's] an alcoholic nymphomaniac.”

An intoxicated woman told police to arrest her after she admitted to throwing a closed pocket knife at her husband’s forehead.

The 23-year-old woman also told them she was a nymphomaniac and an alcoholic and that her estranged husband had been staying with her for a week, ever since she asked him over to have sex and he never left.

After further questioning, she said, “You know what? Just take me to jail.”

You know your life is totally in the crapper when you’re at the point in which you just know you have to go to jail for these two ailments. Maybe there’s hope for her. Drunk…you can come back from that. Nymphomania, well, if you can stop staring at the mailman’s slacks, maybe, But both? No dice.

See though? This is one of those things where a guy is like, “YEAH I WISH MY CHICK HAD NYMPHOMANIA BECAUSE THEN I WOULD FINALLY GET SOME HAR HAR” but you just know that, if it happened in real life, it would lead to nothing but horror and suffering. Yeah, maybe the first five times are fun, but when your genitals turn into a tub of chopped meat or she’s getting railed by your dad at a holiday, probably somewhat less of a blast. But man, what a Father’s Day for him.

[NWF Daily News]

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