The 11 worst “Cathy” comics of all time
Chris Spags 
The comic strip “Cathy” has been a fixture in your local funnies pages for the past 34 years. But just yesterday, creator Cathy Guisewite announced that the long-running series will come to an end this October. Despite its tenure, “Cathy” has never been a favorite for many people, named one of the Worst Comics of All-Time by Seattle alt-weekly The Stranger last year. So here’s a proper tribute to the lovable lady and female cultural icon: The 11 worst “Cathy” comic strips of all time.
Since we have a mostly male readership and “Cathy” is so intrinsically female, I’ll do my best here to enlighten you all as to what’s really going on in each strip.
11 Cathy buys some shoes
Cathy is attempting to illustrate the larger societal issues of female body image. Though she’s “normal” by real women’s standards, she must constantly fight to find clothing and accessories that aren’t too small. Also, she’s got the body composition of Man Vs. Food host Adam Richman, making it an arduous experience at best to find a sensible pants suit.
10 Cathy gets married
In 2005, “Cathy” creator Cathy Guisewite decided to finally marry off Cathy to long-time boyfriend Irving. Both characters also appear to be crying (or sweating) quite a bit. Cathy presumably due to joy, Irving presumably due to the fact that he’s marrying a woman whose bridesmaid is her dog.
9 Cathy has a philosophical debate with her lover, Irving
Cathy is humorously tackling the issues of how modern masculinity is defined. Her boyfriend, Irving, is a modern man who doesn’t conform to traditional male gender roles (yet somehow reinforces them due to his slovenly living conditions). When Irving retorts by wishing Cathy adhered to a traditionally female gender role, Cathy responds in a poignant manner relevant to all modern women, that being the usage of a really shitty pun.
8 Cathy loves online dating
Cathy took to the unending barrage of random erect penises on Chatroulette far better than I would have guessed.
7 Cathy and her mom
Like in any regular woman’s life, Cathy’s relationship with her mother was crucial to her development. Cathy’s mother still is attempting to “fix her” into a proper woman, even though she’s fully grown and an adult. This change to Cathy’s breathing process presumably set the comic on a week long story arc where Cathy has a stroke and must come to grips with her new lot in life. Or she ate chocolate. Either/or.
6 Cathy gets a Valentine for her special man
Cathy defines relationships by what she wants from them rather than what would actually be meaningful for her boyfriend. Also, saleswomen are manipulative and evil. Especially if they have a Jew-fro.
5 Cathy in the workplace
Through her negligence with both her job and her pet in these two strips, Cathy sets women’s rights back approximately 75 years by illustrating that yes, in fact, women probably don’t belong in the workplace.
4 Cathy shares her workout theory
Cathy is illustrating how silly insecurities prevent people from achieving their goals in life. She also has the cardiovascular endurance of Marlon Brando during the filming of The Island of Dr. Moreau.
3 Cathy buys stuff
Cathy shows that, yes, women are in fact powerless to avoid buying things, presumably due to their ovaries. Cathy’s just lucky that woman didn’t have an adorable child, lest she brought up on charges similar to that of another prominent female comedic figure, Paula Poundstone.
2 Cathy counts calories
Cathy counts calories and carbs like Rainman, only instead of savant math skill, her abilities lie mostly in being a bitch. No wonder her bridesmaid was her dog.
1 Cathy’s love affair with chocolate
Arguably the most famous of the “Cathy” strips due to its appearance on 30 Rock (though it looks like the version they used was slightly edited from the actual one that ran in 1999), the comic shows that, in the end, all a woman needs to be happy can be found within herself. And if that doesn’t work, at the bottom of a bag of Hershey’s Kisses.
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So in summation, kudos to you, fictional Cathy and artist Cathy Guisewite for somehow collecting a paycheck for almost 40 years. This Web page sums up the lessons and impact on society of “Cathy” far better than I ever could.
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