November 11, 2008 11:00 am

The 9 most disturbingly misogynistic old print ads

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You may find it hard to believe, but apparently women were treated with some sort of disrespect by advertisers at one point in history. Here are nine of the most bizarre and anti-woman ads ever.

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This is the only foreign ad of the bunch but it’s an ad for tampons that, for some reason, indicates that a good usage is to tie a dead fish to your tampon string. Now, I’m no gynecologist (well, not professionally at least; I dabble in amateur work), but I could imagine that hanging a fish from your cooch won’t help your vaginal situation. In fact, it may make it worse. Much worse. Especially for the fish. I’m pretty sure that’s how Flounder from the Little Mermaid died.

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If I had a dollar for every time I had to spank a woman for not getting me fresh Sanka, I’d have…many…dollars. It was always kind of awkward when I was living with my mom though.

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The only way that this is a justifiable gift is if he were regularly slapping her in the face because she was such an awful cook. Because then while a “Chef” is a crappy gift, her real gift is less black eyes. And filing less police reports. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

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In related news, whenever a girl lets me blow something in her face, I’m more inclined to follow her everywhere.

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I can’t say I “disagree” with this ad in the traditional sense. It’s always fairly arousing to see a woman doing cleaning activities. Particularly when the words “Dirty Latina” are involved, but I guess there’s some flexibility in this case.

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There are so many things wrong with this ad…the emotionally disturbed girl, the lifelessly colored Trix and, of course, the fact that the ad is saying 5 year-old “women” need love. All these factors lead me to believe one thing: The Trix Rabbit has been f’ing kids for all these years. It explains so much…of course they wouldn’t give him any Trix, he was slapping their asses with his floppy ears and inserting carrots inside of them for years.

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You hear that ladies? Your vagina is a cess pool. I also hear that some of you have bear traps installed inside of you so that when a guy has sex with you, WHAM, bear trap. The vagina is a crafty beast, my friends.

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I can’t imagine this is a real conversation. My sex talk with my dad was basically him saying “Wear a condom and, if you forget, pull out” and that was still pretty awkward. I can’t imagine him then going into a discussion on how to avoid “Ball funk” and how it’s a problem afflicting many boys. Especially if this speech came while he was wearing a towel with his foot up on a bench. Though I guess visual aids are typically helpful.

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In accordance with Megan’s Law, I have nothing to say about this photo.

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If you liked this, you may like this other sexist ad or The 7 Most Delightfully Perverse Toy Commercials. And feel free to add your own witty comments about the ads in the little comment box below.