The hot new workout: Beating yourself up

Shaolin monks supposedly endure a training technique which involves pummeling themselves to strengthen their bodies (it also supposedly revives dead fat cells, which makes it easier to stay fit). Monks live to be like 1000 years old and could still probably kick your ass, so I don’t want to question them too much. But when you’re a gawky kid doing the same thing, well, it just looks silly.

I say this without any scientific knowledge, but I can’t think of any situation in which beating yourself with a baseball bat will have a positive impact on your life. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. Even a baseball, which is made to survive repeatedly getting hit by a baseball bat, can often get the cover torn off it by a scintillating hit or two. This kid does not seem tougher to me than a baseball. And if he disagrees, I’m pretty sure Mr. Met would have a none too pleasant word or two for him. He’s got a baseball for a head, man, he’s got nothing to lose. Well, other than many many baseball games.

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