They warned you not to molest that alligator

Alligators are a big part of the scene down in Florida, so it’s important that people know that these large monsters with sharp teeth and scaly skin may not be as nice as the Hanna-Barbera documentary “Wally Gator” led them to believe. Hence, this sign.

While you and I may know that by “molest” they mean it in the context of “irritate or annoy,” but I’d be willing to bet the type of person who even contemplated screwing with an alligator in the first place probably doesn’t get that. So I’m not sure who exactly this sign is helping. Yes, maybe the 1% of the people who came to a swampy area with their genitals engorged and poking out of their overalls will have to walk away with their heads hanging low, but everyone else will just go, “Well, I reckon I’m not gon’ finger the gator’s booty so I can probably just poke it with that thar stick!” What people who screw with gators lack in tact, they more than make up for in eloquence.

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